WHAT?

This is the kind of scenario I was thinking about. The idea that everyone is holding hands and singing kumbaya around a roaring fire with all the food and supplies they need for a couple of days is....a little myopic.

I think this woman may have just been a bad mother, that probably wasn't her intention, but that was the sum result of her actions. Not everything is always totally the fault of the abusive boyfriend. She had 4 kids and I'm willing to guess that there were multiple fathers; she probably would have been pregnant in a…

What a fucking horrible tragedy. It's hard to tell what really was going on with her. She could have been concurrently abused and convinced that the safest thing for her child was to not report the abuse.

Re: Emmy Rossum. I say this as a thin-blooded native Californian who doesn't like snow or temps below 65, so grain of salt and all that, but...

I don't want to offend someone's beautiful child or anything, but I definitely thought that was Gollum wistfully staring out the window at first glance.

Me before:

I grew up when all these diseases were rampant. Polio was still around too, but I got my first dose of vaccine in second grade. They were awful illnesses. Why any parent would want to risk their child potentially having any of them if it can be prevented, is beyond me.

Okay, Goop's "Sex Powder" costs $60 for four ounces. It's "wild-crafted" ingredients include "Epimedium, Ho Sho Wu, Schizandra, Cristanche, Shilajit, Maca, Cacao, Lo Han Guo, Stevia." I'm pretty everything but cacao and stevia are Chinese herbs representing the ancient principles of "bullshit" and "gullibility".

She's whiter than Southern. She's from Nantucket.

The ingredients for that sex bark cost over $100. Does Gwyneth show up in person to fuck me?

I thought a Sex Bark is the noise one makes when "it slips into the wrong hole on accident".

"Whoever gets to date me"

I was going natural and was inspired by some of YouTube's top natural hair divas to try on some regrettable dos. They've always stressed of the harms caused by some of the products targeted for black women made by people that don't have/know black hair and I really bought into it and was committed to taking back…

My (much older) half sister got married in the early 00s when I was about thirteen, and her two older daughters (maybe 17 and 19?) were bridesmaids and they went full Ever After: body glitter, hair glitter, long flowy dresses, and maybe fairy wings? Or I might just be feeling like they wore fairy wings because it was…

I don't know. I gave myself home perms all through high school and they looked fine.

I could go on and on about all the horrible perms and triangular mushroomesque bobs and bowl cuts I inflicted on myself and had inflicted on me during my late-70s/80s childhood, but I'll share this little treat from a year or so ago instead.

The best/worst part is my mother's unwavering commitment to it being a good decision despite photographic proof that we looked like a cross between Joe Dirt and a French poodle.

Miss Lebanon didn't even spell "Israel" right in her stupid fucking post.