Yes yes to the Vitamin E! I've worked with multiple plastic surgeons, and the good ones who don't hawk their own fancy $$$ creams all swear by Vit E + massaging the scar.

""There's literally a clamoring for Christmas music 24/7/365/52."

Even Kim Kardashian wasn't originally Kim Kardashian pretty (LOTS of surgical procedures), so don't be hard on yourself! I'm sure you are lovely. You could try one of those makeover sites where you upload a photo of yourself and can try different hair colors on to see if you like the blonde.

Also, all the clothing is infested with smallpox germs!

Oh my lord...I was about to have an aneurysm until I read your edit.

Yep, exactly. Thank you for being an intelligent, calm individual. Apparently I just committed the internet equivalent of spilling coffee all over someone's wedding scrapbook.

I don't know if you need new glasses, but I wasn't even the author of the original "Why not just not have a wedding?" post. I'll explain one more time that I was snarking on the fungus dress lady. You can also reread BecauseoftheImplication's comment instead, since you are apparently goaded into a blood rage of all…

Girl, unless you wore a fungus dress to your 300 person wedding, I don't know why you think I was addressing you.

He seems to be the equivalent of the Facebook acquaintance you forget about until he/she comments awkwardly on pictures of you and your significant other with, "YOUR KIDS WILL BE THE CUTEST!! <3"

Ah, but then you couldn't force your family and your 200+ guestlist to stare at YOU and YOUR beauty and brilliance on YOUR super special day!

I'd call her look more "smug" than "stank," honestly.

Um which Jolin songs are these?? I must watch the videos posthaste!

There is an Asian photoshopping app that can be used to touch up selfies, and one feature is that it enlarges eyes to alien size. I didn't think fancy magazines would use this humble app, but I stand corrected. (Example of alien eye effect below from mobilegeeks.com)

Yes, here is two Real Housewives.

Sorry you're getting piled on. As a person in the medical field, all your points are legit. But Jez is a place where using the n-word will get you less vitriol than using the word "obese." If you think this is bad, you should read the comments on articles about primary care doctors (How DARE those bullies recommend…

And that's the way it has to be, honestly, cause creativity could never bloom in my room - I'd throw it all away before I'd lie, so don't call me with a compromise. Hang up the phone! I got a backbone stronger than yours!

Is English even your first language? Or are you using Babelfish? "It was Socrates with said it" isn't even a sentence. Also, you don't comment "in" a blog; you comment ON a blog.

Well, god forbid you feel UNCOMFORTABLE! Feeling uncomfortable is SO much more horrid than being pulled over by cops for no reason other than the color of your skin, getting shot and killed for walking around in a hoodie at night, being passed over for jobs and promotions, being told that you should be lynched like…

Yeah I've been reading Jez for about...6 years? So I am aware. But recently I've noticed random trolls commenting on the Weekly Roundup with angry screeds about how this feature proves that women are idiots because only idiots read magazines and men partake in far more intellectual pasttimes and other verbal diarrhea…

Awaiting the "THIS FEATURE PROVES THAT WOMEN ARE IDIOTS BECAUSE GOSSIP MAGS ARE FOR DUM DUMS HOW DARE YOU!!" comments. I assume these are the same people who froth at the mouth about The Onion articles and take all jokes seriously.