East of the Sun, West of the Moon retellings are my Jaaaaaaaaaaaaam!! Okay the beginning is weird and could have all been avoided if only people communicated clearly (isn’t that the true of most fairy tales tho?), but after shit hits the fan and the chick is like fuck I got to go rescue this idiot? Yuuusss plssss.

I once voluntarily watched a 20 minute video of an empty McDonald’s slowly filling with water. As the water rose, with all the wrappers swirling and the empty chairs floating, you were filled with a strange fascination (“what the fuck is this”) and an impending sense of inescapable doom. It was like watching the…

Siiiiigh, I know.

“Ooooh you didn’t mean in terms of the physical building? Because Stephanie the executive assistant is a woman and she works right over there next to me!”

I worry about that whole “right age to have children” thing just because I know that sooner than I want my body is going to stop being a baby-making fertility factory and start becoming a derelict fertility wasteland. When evolution or science (whichever comes first) catches up with our societal pressures and allows…

Yeah, that’s what I don’t understand. He can admit to his ignorance at the time and apologize now and, while it wouldn’t erase the mistakes of his past, it would prove he understands the issue and feels sorry for what he did (none of this “profound sorrow” that the victim killed herself, which isn’t really an “I’m…

I told my boyfriend that we couldn’t have kids because we couldn’t afford daycare on our combined salaries and then I blew his mind by showing him childcare costs for babies and small kids. I would love to have kids someday, but I’m afraid I’ll be a geriatric mum (with all the fun extra costs of difficulty conceiving…

Stock market crash and Brexit-levels of ragret. And since I live in redneck Florida, which is full of Trump supporters, I’d have to listen to people firing guns into the air in celebration ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

Yes please!

I would go to a film version of the musical! So fantastic!

Oh Lordy, that’s a lot of dinosaur congress going on there!

Sigh, I gueeeeeess I can trade my “Kanye Kampain 2020" shirt for “Obama 2020". I would certainly love it if she stayed active in politics!

Oh gawd, now I am trying to think about all those reality tv scenes in various restaurants, kitchens, and bars and whether anyone was actually eating anything and I can’t really think of an actual instance of hearty food consumption. Lots of drinking, but little to no eating. WOW. And now I really want to go out and…

I have a friend who is just really good at interiors and her rooms always look like minimalist versions of magazine showcase homes, but also very liveable? I’m always a wee bit jealous because my house, while also very liveable, looks like a Goodwill puked in a hoarder’s storage locker and then went through the rapid…

What was the topic of the student paper? Was this a class? Just curious!

Yay for four years! What an amazing achievement!

OMIGAWD all the libertarians have come out of the woodwork this year! Two other friends recently discovered they were dating libertarians (one is in Texas and just shrugged it off with a “at least he’s not republican or voting for Trump”). I haven’t met this many libertarians since freshman year of college!

This IS the darkest timeline. If we all grow goatees and start dressing sexier, we will know it to be true.

Aw, bless your heart, you special, special snowflake! I advise you to stay in the snowglobe that is Manhattan because the rest of the world is an over-stimulating place, full of unintentional multimedia exposure and new experiences.

My boyfriend and I disagree on a few big topics (as a dem and a libertarian, dating during this election has been rough), but we’ve gotten to the point where we both agree that any argument needs to have multiple authoritative sources. Admitting you have reached the limit of your knowledge on certain topics and need…