This is likely the biggest mistake I’ve ever made on Kinja, but god help me, here I go.

Reporters who go into celebrating locker rooms are the troops of media. Maybe there was a time when dumping a 30-racks worth of beer on the reporter was frowned upon, but the gates are open now. It’s not even catching shrapnel, you’ve got professional athletes drowning you in alcohol. You know what happens when you…

Lots of people are braying . . .

I defy anyone to find a word that better describes Trump’s speaking style than “honks.”

“I love shaping earth,” Trump honks to camera, “it’s a canvas.”

Oh, the Jameis Winston narration would be priceless!

Ok, I know I shouldn’t be laughing at this, but that slow fade in of #97 on the ground at the 0:51 mark had me dying, because he’s got a front row, up close and personal view, with a look on his face like he’s mentally thinking, “bruh, you gettin’ choked right the hell out.”

Ravens later tweet
“Odell Beckham Jr. says he deeply regrets the role that he played the day of the incident.”

Where does asphyxiating fit into this equation? Middle Twix? Kit Kat?

That silent, NFL Films-quality clip wasn’t enough.

Choking and suffocating a person are completely different, like right Twix and left Twix.

Quick sneaky Tug leads to a happy ending.

Timing is impeccable. Not even a blind side hit. More like a Wilber Marshall-to-Joe Ferguson hit. I think his insides spilled out, too, if memory serves.

*Insert poorly-constructed Jets pun, possibly referencing Rex Ryan and feet*

That’s a good sports highlight considering what’s on TV tonight.  Thank you.

Monsters of the Jetway

Great form.  Drive right through the tackle.

Head of Airport Warehouse & Equipment ejected the truck from the tarmac, fined it $50,000 for unairportlike conduct, and suspended it for the rest of the flying season.

This was honestly one of the most absurd no-calls I've seen in a while. This clownshoe could have actually broken Sanders' neck.

And he would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for those meddling.. wait.