First they came for the footballs, and I did not speak out — because I didn’t care about the footballs.

YOU LEAVE ANN PERKINS ALONE!

Interrupting your ad viewing with automobile-focused articles, again? 

Please make this stop:

Now you know why their office had the red door. Remember the safe word to make it stop is “Yes” when they ask how you feel about getting the Truecoat.

Why did he ask me to put cash on the dresser?

Hear Hear.

Fuck that bitter herb.

Yep, it explains the “Thin Blue Line” flag being in the same room.

Splinter refugee camp? This brings me joy.

Honestly, I’m amazed the pic doesn’t have their laptop monitors facing the camera, giving away sensitive information.

You gotta love the showmanship inherent in his obviously staged situation room photo “during” the raid that killed Al-Baghdadi:

Also, in the event the G/O management succeeds in banishing politics from all the blogs, we’ve created a refugee camp here:

It’s the reason why he is so insane about being impeached.  It hurts his fragile ego.  I’ve been waiting for him to resign in a huff for years now.  The problem is that the power mad sycophants who surround him will do and say anything to appease his ego and keep him in power, because that also keeps them in power.

That’s an incredibly sudden and decisive knockout. He really Polished him off there.

I feel pretty confident I could have done the falling over part

With all due respect, Joe and Mika can just go straight to hell.

Deadspin does too much traffic to get Splintered. The brilliant executives wouldn’t kill a blog like Deadspin. That’d be like killing your politics blog during a heated election cycle.

Joe can can choke on his morning joe for that stupid ass comment. Why tf does the media keep trying to play this both sides we go high narrative?

Oh thank gods. It’s pushing 11:00 am Monday on the East Coast, and there was only one post. Ever since Splinter got abruptly taken out behind the barn, I get nervous about longs gaps like that.

As Chris Rock said “there are black people who aren’t even born yet who won’t vote for him.”