Well Brittany sucks anyway, she never appreciated my cashmere and forearm combo. Cuffed sweater for days.

That’s the thing, the people who really have that spiritual connection aren’t often the loudest.

“We didn’t lose her. When you lose something you can’t find it. I know exactly where my wife is.”

THEN YOU ARE NOT A TRUE YANKEE!

#wowrekt

I don’t think it’s what you ate and drank but more how specific you were about it.

Sorry, bro. It was actually twelve Bud heavies and, uh, McDonald’s. Better?

that’s the most millenial hipster shit i have ever heard

Have you ever thrown up a leafy green, like lettuce? It sticks to your throat and roof of your mouth like gross vegetable skin.

I’ve printed and framed this comment, because it is the worst joke ever told.

Said the patron to the sushi chef.

#niceguysofdeadspin

Goddamn psych majors.

Exactly. He’s the executive producer of the Entourage movie and he was in Transformers: Age of Extinction and Daddy’s Home.

“If your date seems openly immature or oblivious to major social norms on your first few dates, it will likely only get worse as they get more comfortable with you.”

You gotta be a blast a parties.

Well they also don’t have Koopas piloting them, but I guess alterations had to be made all around.

Saint Peter: And you are?

He’ll be OK. Dalton’s baggage always seems to find him in the first round of the playoffs.