It’s amazing to me how many people are so quick to either blame Eva, or claim that she’s lying (on this thread, even!) without truly knowing the full scope of the situation.

Well Brittany sucks anyway, she never appreciated my cashmere and forearm combo. Cuffed sweater for days.

baseless assumptions != deductive reasoning

I’ll always star John Mulaney

I tend to not think about the things that are just assumptions of how people live their lives. I’m a face value man.

No, YOU don’t need it. Others do.

I’m not as religious as I once was, but it definitely has given me the outlook to just keep pushing forward. My religion has helped me through some really rough times and it has only provided a positive spin on my life.

Ugh a bit ago I had a few to many every-drinks and barfed up tilapia and spinach. That leafy shit was just clinging to my cheeks for dear life even the next morning.

ITT: People that assume that 3 seconds from a video tells them everything about the relationship between two people.

Good gravy.

Are those going away?? Because they’re fucking hilarious every time.

Fuck, dude. I don’t know how to handle my thoughts.

Call me a coward then because I don’t need poo pants in my 20s.

Fage or bust

For a second I thought it was some weird way of having fluffy, scrambled eggs before they touch the pan and then he just heats them up. I actually tossed around the possibility of that for a number of minutes before I realized he meant that his wife cracks the eggs into the pan then scrambles them.

Yeah obviously being 5'7 at your weight would be a disaster.

6'2" and 300 definitely gets a “damn!” from me. That’s large as shit.

Hoe much do you weigh? I’ve never even heard of anyone I know breaking a seat.

They physics make perfect sense! It’s the standing that boggles me. When you stand, don’t your cheeks push together? That makes wiping just that much harder.

Never once have I had that problem. What toilets have a water level that high?

Bill Curry