Assume no one gives a shit about your wedding.

I think he's cute BUT I find his face too... fatless? Like when he makes expressions, the lack of fat shows the skeleton and it freaks me out. Am I body snarking? I don't mean to be.

I'm 5'4''. This means I can date JGL, wear heels, and be just the right height for smooching that handsome face. WINNING!

WOW. what if my dad is just a lil guy? since he's your "right height" does that mean you have an 'average joe' complex? (pun.... intended)

Which is why, in the long run, pro-choicers and pro-lifers have the same goal: fewer abortions. The problem is that outlawing abortions doesn't work, and educating people and making sure they have access to healthcare DOES.

I really hope the gay rumors are not true. Because I want to have his baby.

Also, smart, witty, and willing to be silly in the pursuit of making people laugh. Perfect man? A world of yes.

douchey barista here: a macchiato is not what most of you think it is. When you order a 16 oz macchiato or a caramel macchiato and you're not at starbucks, the baristas helping you are rolling their eyes and mouthing to each other, "oh, s/he wants a caramel vanilla latte."

I think that people don't like to examine the broader impact of their actions because to do so would make them feel guilty. When presented with a person who is advocating for something they suck at themselves they're suddenly and inescapably faced with their own repressed guilt. The guilt makes them feel bad so they…

Truly, some people are too stupid to live.

Yup. If you are used to artificial sweeteners and stop eating them for a while, when you try them again they taste like the world's bitterest robot jizz.

Yep. My tongue tells me they taste like gross chemicals (metal + bleach, maybe?) and my brain is all "oh hell yeah, stay away, STAY AWAY!"

Well, I think the guy might care. Being premature is not fun for the guy at all, and it can be frustrating for the partner as well. Sex is generally better if both parties are enjoying it.

I understand you're being facetious, but honestly, I've never understood the mindset of "because this thing exists, it has somehow prevented this completely unrelated thing that I care about from existing".

I once read an epic rant whose thesis amounted to "I'm against gay marriage, because I'm against all marriage,…

There's a difference between rejecting someone and being offended by a woman asking.

You can only plead the fifth when you would be at risk of criminal prosecution over what you say. You can't just use it when you don't want to testify.

These little guys are gonna learn to cut the brakelines on cars and go after oil execs...

He's about 6 inches too tall and 60lbs too heavy - a throwback to when women still wanted the antiquated big/strong caveman type. Women want a guy like that so they can feel small/safe/overpowered. It's fucking gross.

Not at all. Of course there was great music in the 90s, but I guarantee someone who says "they stopped making good music in the 90s" knows fuck all about music and is making a vague judgement about whatever music drifted past his/her lazy snout on TV and radio.

Haha! Every time I hear "stopped making good music in the 90s" from anyone I think the same thing: "You, pal, have shit music taste and I can guarantee the 90s were wasted on you anyway".