what, are you trying to break jezebel?

My mortifying holiday party experience ended up changing my life completely. It was my first job out of college, it was in my field of choice and I hated it. I was there about 5 months when the holiday party came around. I also happened to be in a horrible marriage, we were young and totally stupid. By the time my…

HOLY SHIT WINNER. (Stefan voice) This story has everything: a proposal, vomiting, oral sex...

My birthday is exactly a week before Christmas, and as such, is almost always the day that my office chooses to have their holiday party. This has happened several times over the years with various jobs, and it is generally uncomfortable and has occasionally gotten weird.

The most memorable, however, was several…

And like, you can understand SOME level of obscene markup on extremely well-made leather goods. There's leather and then there's leather. The thickness, type, texture, dye variety, tanning and finishing process (to say nothing of the stitching and overall construction) all have a huge impact on how a bag wears, how it…

if some of the good old boys came out and said "I'm here because others have smoothed my path," there'd be a rip in the spacetime continuum. Those guys always regurgitate "meritocracy " when giving their autobiography.

McQueen did it first and best:

As someone who works in the anti-counterfeiting industry, I just wanted to say that your description of how the crime of selling counterfeit goods is simple trademark infringement is incredibly simplistic and just wrong. Finished counterfeit goods are just the tip of the crime iceberg.

Actually for me? I avoid any frequently-copied bags and brands entirely. At this point, I just assume that anything with a prominent Coach or LV logo print is fake, which makes both of those brands much less appealing to me overall. (Also because I loathe logo prints in general.)

HE'S CHUCK BASS

And all I can think of is GUSSET.

If I left with a gaggle of hot people, I wouldn't even have sex with them. I'd have a sexy pillow fight. It'd look something like this:

Is Leo like using the Jonas brothers as bait to chum the waters for much younger women?

Cat shit can be extremely dangerous to both pregnant women and newborn babies. So stop being a twit. Seriously.

Damn rape victims not taking notes while being drugged and gang raped!

Why are people so willing to call her a liar?

The second most depressing part of this story? How little drive by shootings shock us anymore. We live in a society where a person getting so enraged by something as ultimately inconsequential as traffic that he (or she, but usually a he) feels justified in shooting at people and these events are so frequent we barely…

Cue a million comments from self-righteous blowhards who want to gloat over their more-feminist-than-you $5 gluten-free courthouse wedding, while pontificating about how anyone who doesn't get married in a Chuck E. Cheese on coupon night while wearing a potato sack as a dress is a regressive princess monster who will…

I've been a reader for years and only just created an account so I could say that I plan on getting as stoned to the bone as I can while still able to walk, and bringing my super excited dog as an excuse to go for walks all day (and annoy my grandfather). Also, my therapist and I have been prepping for the holidays…