I’ve been waiting for this post since yesterday and I’m not ashamed of it. Okay I’m a little ashamed. But...look at him! He is perfect.

Oh make no mistake, I’ve been pestering Congress weekly (it was daily, but I’m studying for the bar exam right now so I’ve had to taper off both drinking and pestering). I’m just so very, very exhausted.

And yet, she doesn’t even use her lips to kiss. So weird...

I think the series should’ve ended with the previous episode. This one... was mostly blah.

The jumpsuit is awesome but definitely not for those of us without a thigh gap. I could start a fire just walking in that thing.

As a passenger, I hope people remember that airlines need to manage their own shit and not ask paying passengers to do it for them.

 That Jennifer Garner story is missing important facts! Like what kind of kitties did she hang out with? Which ones did she give head skritches to, how many gently headbutted her (out of love, of course), and which ones demanded belly rubs? Were there wrasslin’ kitties, just like there are in my living room right this…

Eggs or go home bitches. And memo to the Reese’s conglomerate: ditch those nasty Christmas trees. The peanut butter to chocolate ration is wrong, like a dog peed on the tree wrong.

The one that got me was the 23 year old woman working in PR who said “As a person who’s always been complimented on [my] ‘stunning beauty’ … I’d been searching for a ‘hot’ guy to match the label I had always been given,” says Young. “But after a date or two, they’ll have problems hanging out with you and then will…

Everytime I do a Trump/Ivanka fanfic, y’all go “ewwww!”, which I thought meant you guys liked it. Sorry.

Special.

Photographic evidence that Mar-a-Lago has a giant turd just sitting in the middle of the eating area:

Are we seeing leaked footage from Ryan Seacrest’s new show Knick Knacking with the Knowles?

It doesn’t matter if it’s light blue and brown or white and gold in bad lighting - it’s fucking ugly. And no one needs sleep to make that call.

Omarosa’s dress is pretty.

what kind of toppings did you get?

This just dawned on me. Jared Kushner looks like Orin from Parks and Rec.

Can anyone explain why the fuck that asshole is in Florida right now? Should he be in DC, since he’s trying to start a war?