You didn’t have the pleasure of going to college with a ton of people “from Chicago” (read: from Highland Park or La Grange or one of the eleventy billion suburbs) between 2007 and 2011, when they went from mocking you for liking hockey to lording the Hawks over you in an incredibly short span.

This here? This is not wrong. Montreal fans are nightmares as well. “We have so many championship banners!” Yes, the most recent of which is old enough to legally drink, please get fucked by a moose.

Drew: I know you hate hockey because of some unspeakable horror back in your MN days, but you need to discover just how horribly shitty Chicago Blackhawks fans are. Excusing Patrick Kane’s (alleged) rape is just the tip of the iceberg.

I love that thing people do where they fuck around with their phones at stop lights and miss an entire light cycle. It’s just the best.

I think you mean the nicest

Ah, a W-L truther!

My favorite Sager and KG moment. Nothing snarky to add, Cancer sucks.

“That’s one that is just going to haunt him a little bit,” manager Mike Matheny said. “Just shows you how fragile this is. The one at-bat he’s got to think about again is the two-out walk to the pitcher. He knows that. Just really cost us right there.”

i can’t believe we’re only 7 cardinals losses away from what will be the greatest blog in the history of Deadspin

They actually lost 65 times last year because they got womped by the Cubs in the NLDS.

When did Kevin James get a neck?

If CBS values my opinion so much why isn't Kevin James buried neck deep in hippo shit right now?

I’m out in North Center and am frequently called a “faggot” by screaming drunk passengers of cabs going down Irving. I have a small dog and she needs to be walked, goddamnit.

I’m a Cubs fan, but used to have to ride my bike through Wrigleyville to get back home, and on gameday, some of the broier of the bunches would fuck with me; try to make me fall off, etc.

I didn’t buy in Wrigleyville, I bought a few miles away, but my commute is seriously affected by Cubs traffic. You’re asinine.

Buying in Wrigleyville is your own damn fault. This is asinine.

If there is a god, this team will not win the World Series. You think Cardinals fans are bad? Wait until these fans get a taste of success. The streets of Chicago will be swarmed, like it’s Dawn of the Dead, only half the zombies are wearing knee high tube socks and sandals and the other half neon colored tank tops.…

If it can bring down the Murrah building in OKC, maybe it’s not a good idea to use it in safety devices.

This has zero to do with this post but I’m watching a documentary about Babe Ruth and it turns out he was shot in the leg in a bar by his mistress. So if you ever get the question what do Aqib Talib, Plaxico Burress and Babe Ruth have in common? The answer is they all suffered a gun shot wound to their leg in a bar.

WHY ISN’T YOUR HAND OVER YOUR HEART? DON’T YOU KNOW PEOPLE DIED FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO COMPETE IN THE OLYMPICS? WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA SO MUCH? IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT HERE YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE!!!111 AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH