He’s going to need a lot of ketchup cake for this.

That sound you heard was Drew Magary spiraling down a vortex of sorrow.

RIP Teddy Bridgewater

RIP Drew Magary*

Apparently the knee couldn't handle all the weight from teddys little friend

Maybe they needed to use an Epi-Pen?

RIP Teddy Bridgewater, probably

You just described “Yankees fans” and “Mets fans”, respectively.

I just assume everyone who lives in NYC makes 175K a year, and have no worries. That, or they make 22K a year and live on the subway.

Hamilton Nolan

thank you for the reminder that my sense of humor is nowhere *near* as dark as it could be.

really upset that you forgot about single dad:

*Cums*

I was banned from Twitter because I once stated that tacos are sandwiches and then I was accused of cultural appropriation (which is ridiculous since tacos can be white, yellow, blue, brown, green, etc.). Anyway, I was also reinstated but I had to change my handle to Trigger Warning.

Have you BEEN to Whole Foods lately???

Buying organic

He’s in a Whole Foods.

Also obama's black. So racism doesn't exist.

But he’s rich! He can’t protest the treatment of others when he’s rich, and I guess not even black!!

what, essentially, makes his black parent the dominant factor in determining his race?