Also, if I were in that person’s position I would probably fuck them both, too. If I’m spending the rest of my life with someone I need to know if there is any sexual chemistry.

There’s always someone on posts like this talking about thrifty (i.e. superior) they were at their wedding but I’ve got you all beat: not getting married saves SO much money!

Thanks, Yacht but I’ll just listen to this instead:

Good!

I’d be okay with a functional guide to swimwear for changing bodies. Like:

I love that hair color and Christina looks the best she has in years. I feel like it’s a stretch to call it pierced but I imagine the word festooned is way too dated.

Dude, Kind Bars are delicious. The sea salt chocolate almond one and the salted caramel one are the bomb. I usually only eat half of one at a time, because depending on your meal calories, they can be a bit too high-calorie for a snack, but they taste amazing.

Shouldn’t Ashley Madison get the nod for Old Faithful?

I’m a green banana person. Sometimes I’ll get overconfident though and start one that needs a hacksaw to peel and tastes like wallpaper paste. Complete with crunchy lumps.

It’s perfect!

This guy must be reading a different bible than we’re familiar with, because there is no way the Jesus described in any of the bibles I grew up reading would have been cool with this.

Nah, I am waiting for the ultimate dig. If she’s pregnant with a boy, she names the young heir Robert Kardashian III. After the child’s father, and of course, his grandfather. I think Kris, Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe would implode. Their precious father’s name given to this child born from Blac Chyna?! But rightfully…

Maybe if Tobe Hooper was directing, and not Tom.

“We’re getting doxed, threatened and harassed.”

Am I doing it right? You said mail tears.

When I read the headline I thought he meant “He’s trying” as in “He’s trying my patience.”

“He’s trying ...Honestly, He trying.”

Will someone explain what “dancing for The Weeknd” means?

They would have the same texture as their chicken so....better? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ooh, I know this one! Prune juice is from prunes (dried plums) that have been soaked in water and then pureed (and probably filtered?). The result is something that’s liquid but has a lot of the fiber and whatever from prunes. Straight-up plum juice would be mostly just sugar, no fiber, and no amazing laxative…