Mouth. Can wash it easier than the eyes and much less risk for pink-eye.

I made a burner for this. No one knows this story except me, my husband and our healthcare providers. I had an abortion of a baby I wanted more than anything, ever. I loved her so much.

100% uncontroversial take:

Got to play with my new toy today! Time to clean it!

Got to play with my new toy today!

new toy today!

toy

Lol nope, I do criminal law, I just don’t understand people’s entirely irrational hatred of her that is based on nothing but prudish morals and resentment/jealousy that she had managed to achieve so much success for something they don’t view as worthy, at least that’s my opinion of pretty much every Kardashian hater…

Hammer, this is the future. You are going to want to build a $30M mansion overlooking Oakland with gold-plated gates, garages for your limo, copters and fancy cars and a bunch of racehorses. Do NOT do this.

I have thoughts on this:
1) There are people in the world today, Bieber for example, who are wearing those drop crotch pants today. The sequins are an upgrade, as they distract from the drop crotch.

This is so blown out of proportion! I had Chipotle LAST week and it was delicious.

*facepalm*

I didn’t know a dick was the same as a pen is.

People, please start believing that health care IS the miracle God sent you.

Or maybe these mothers (like the mothers of the dead children of Newtown, CT) are trying to change our sick world and know that working with lawmakers is a way to bring attention to their plight?

the superior tweet (this better show up)

It’s not a big deal. A black bar in a photo just means you have 72 hours to find and kill all of your blood relatives or Lizzie rises from the grave to drag you, screaming, into Hell.

Unfortunately, truth-in-advertising laws demands that the group be renamed “75% Saints,” as one of them only had one verifiable miracle performed by their intercession, allowing for beatification but not canonization.

can you imagine being the PR person for chris christie who has to walk into a room and say

I hope her family takes him for every cent he ever earns.

They are so insensitively named, I’m surprised that Urban Outfitters aren’t selling them.

Dolce & Gabbana are just helpfully describing who makes their sandals. Like, “Artesian Sandals” or “Cobbler Sandals”.