“Smell ya later, Jezebel! I’m off to the greener pastures of American Ninja Warrior blogging!”

You know you’re all thinking it.

That should be her winning the nomination dance, she is pretty damn close! YAAAS Hillary! Also, you just made me realize that Hillary is one of the few people in the world who can pretty much wear every color and make it look amazing. Is it a coincidence that she and Lupita are one of the few and I love them both? I…

That’s weird, I always thought Kate Moss had a lot of experience with fresh powder.

Tentative Chapter List:

And Obama’s response to her? I die!

GALAXY QUEST WAS AMAZING AND PERFECT AND HOW DARE YOU FORGET IT.

I love you for saying that as much as I hate the word thirst. What ever happened to hungry? Didn’t we just used to say someone is hungry for power, or hungry for recognition? Hungry never bothered me, but thirst drives me crazy!!!!!!

One time, my friend’s brother’s cousin’s neighbor’s sister’s stepdaughter’s boyfriend was walking by a park wearing a baseball cap, and the next thing you know, he was captured, forced to play short stop for six months, and then won the World Series.

I agree. While I understand where the “choice” argument is coming from because yes, that is our stance, that we don’t butt in other people’s business, I think it’s so important to say “abortion” as often as possible in as many places as possible, in as positive of a context as possible. I am pro-abortion. I think…

I can’t ever hear/see the word “sashay” without adding “shante”

Jeez, didn’t you read the story? He was a former football player who once played football but no longer played football, and was well liked by the people who liked him! And those rapes he committed but maybe he didn’t? You weren’t there so who knows?

JUST GONNA SIT OVER HERE CRYING GUYS. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve owned both cats and dogs and losing them opens up a hole in your heart that can shock you, especially if you aren’t prepared for the pain. You did a great thing by providing him with a home while he was here. You’re good people.

How painful that you couldn’t be there at the end. But your writing is wonderful. Give yourself some downtime; it takes the pain a long time to lose its sharp edge, but it really never goes away.

that’s right.

Imma let you finish...but did you see Pizza Hut’s tweet?

This is just like this scene from the first Jurassic Park.

Hah. Hah. See I’m laughing like the Hispanic street youth do.

This is so silly. No one would ever buy this because Ted Cruz is a really likable guy!

Counterpoint: this is awesome