Allow me to introduce you to The Adventures of Business Cat...

This just seems like the ultimate in white girl problems. Like you’re so normal, you have to find something to be different. Everyone else gets to be all black or disabled or gay or whatever and here she is, being all normal. Gotta make up something to prove that you have it tough too! Look how outsider she is! So…

She didn't do the chattering thing while looking out the window, thus, I do not believe her.

Why should I embrace Pangaea when it didn’t have the wherewithal to stick together as a continent?

But are those people coming to Jezebel for answers? Probably not. This is dumb and I think people who are looking for alternative therapies should know that this is dumb. I think it is good, if they google it, that this article might come up. Because there is no benefit to shoving random crap up your hoo-ha.

You don’t need antibiotics, you need probiotics. A cup of yogurt spooned into your vag should work well, or just squeeze a GoGurt up in there. Good as new. Smells like strawberries.

Hell, I put a grain of sand up in there three years ago and I'm still waiting for a big expensive-ass PEARL to come out :/

Walked across her boyfriends keyboard.

(Clover Hope?)

Ok so be honest, who sings to themselves under their breath at the gym and gives no fucks about it. Do it all the time, will do it again this afternoon i’m sure. Hell I’ll do it even if it’s one of my anime songs playing where there is a 110% chance I will fuck up the lyrics in many different ways.

great idea. I need to film myself doing an interpretive dance of how I view myself. then I’ll be sure to meet “the one”

I love this comment, I'm going to add it to my list of testemonials

He says back, “THERE’S A SQUIRREL IN THAT TREE. I LOVE CHICKEN AND ICE CUBES. INTRUDER! NEVER-MIND! FOOD PLEASE! I LOVE YOU! (He’s not a great conversationalist....meanwhile, our cat is reading war and peace and making notes in the margins on how he would have done a far better job IN RUSSIAN)

OH MY GODDDD.

Your cat couldn’t figure out the right way to check if you were still breathing or if you stopped and he could eat you.

One day, The Donald woke up to find his comb over curled on his head, asleep. He hasn’t had the heart to wake it up.

I feel like maybe she just said “I want revenge, baby”.

‘You are a piece of shit who doesn’t understand human decency. BUT YOUR HAIR ALWAYS LOOKS REALLY, REALLY NICE! I WISH MY HAIR WAS AS NICE!’