I can make all the ingredients for a burrito too. But, sometimes I want my burrito now, not 16 hours from now.

garbage Taco Bell

A cheating drug addict? That is all? Did he cheat on Iman? Did he touch a drug in the last 30 years? Did he produce a staggering catalog of 28 albums to critical and public praise and almost universal acknowledgement of his substantial contribution to popular music and culture? Are you an idiot? Answers: No, No, No,…

What if it was a sort of Quantum Leap kinda thing, where they trolled through the police blotter looking for hotties and then went back in time to prevent the crimes?

Yeah but this makes it sound like ABBA, God’s musical gift from Sweden, is a bad thing. (....this isn’t sarcasm, I just really like ABBA)

I can explain it with Parks and Rec.

Someone in the City Manager’s office tells Leslie that they’re doing a press conference to tout the CM’s program of employing youths to shovel snow and they think it’d be great press for the city if the youths are seen shoveling in front of an old folks’ home. And Leslie of course…

For the first several seconds she was my hero. Then I let this thought creep in:

Every fetus is a potential second wife so....

there was an A+ tweet during the golden globes that i am too lazy to find right now which had the perfect michael shannon description

Look at the Dems pretending they have multiple options, while the Republicans pretend they have options at all.

But it’s so much fun to imagine it to be real.

There I upworthy the title for you.

Well, *I* do, and that’s the important bit!

I once knew a girl named “Nikki”

I CAN TEACH YOU! First rule: forget the raisins, raisins are garbage. Replace with dried plums, dates, and cherries. Also, forget the suet. Use really good butter instead.

It’s stupid for sure, but I honestly think Obama plays it up to win points with the GOP haters – and wisely so. He was making a point about foreign policy that he knew they would find difficult to swallow, so he spoke their language, and they had no choice but to listen.

HEAL!

Well, so much for all the people yesterday crucifying the bodega employee who didn’t the father use the phone...

I miss the pre-Kardashian days when they were Cit-Cats.

Because it is super fun? And it feels like you’re eating 4 candy bars for the price of one? Because the commercials tell you to?!