Right? I mean, my dogs are Murphy and Olivia, but I wouldn’t name a tiger either of those names!

I gave you a star because you said it took you all day. Effort demands reward.

My throat is involuntarily itching just thinking of your kiwi-eating friend.

True story - my stepfather will not eat bagels because “they look like doughnuts but they aren’t”.

Exactly. We are both blanket hogs, so have two sets of blankets for each season. Adding a top sheet just confuses things.

YES!!! #teamflatsheetforever

I just ordered that and the ten-pack of face masks. I hope the foot peel works as well as the reviews claim.

Exactly!

I like the color but hate everything else about the dress.

I would watch this reboot all damn day!

I’ve had that dream also. Why are dream toilets so gross???

Right? Happy cow! Oops...back to slaughterhouse with you.

Related - my sister and I had gone to the movies and then went bar-hopping, during which time I over-indulged. Fast forward a few hours to me throwing up what I hysterically thought were chunks of blood (but were really strawberry Twizzlers I had eaten during the movie).

I am in tears from laughing right now!

Is this payback for the Ryan Gosling article? (You are not wrong about the suckitude of “Rudy”.)

I would be so bad because even though I know all the lyrics, I don’t know the titles of anything!

That’s just for the perjury charge. It doesn’t include any other criminal charges that may be brought against him or the wrongful death civil suit.

“Mort[e]”. I read it a few months ago. It was really interesting!

Hey now, tomago is how I convinced my 7-year-old that sushi is good eats! His two favorites are tomago and volcano rolls.

Just tweeted them.