This still looks like the result of the worst Frank’s Red Hot overdose in history:

Yeah, I feel bad for her, but then this whole situation is a lot closer to “really unfortunate” than a “great injustice.”

All of you realize that none of this shit really goes down in Florida. We just have a really good PR person who drops these bombshells to protect our beachfront life styles from invading hordes of wannabes.

Do you hear music faintly?

Didn't I just read a long list of replies about old tampons being removed from women by doctors? Wait until they find an old iPuss wedged in some poor woman.

I gave up booze for nine monthes gestating my kids, there’s no way in hell I’d jam a speaker up my hoo-hah just so those little jerks can listen to ‘Baby Mozart.’

Now we have to be the best mothers to our spawn before they’re born by shoving a musical tampon in for no reason?

Sorry baby...you’re going to have to leave my body if you want to get bieber fever.

I would file this under just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

If I was on the run, i’m 100% sure pizza would be the thing that got me caught. But goddamn it, it would be better pizza than dominos

You don’t order delivery, you don’t pay with a credit card and you certainly don’t stay in your own condo. Cash only people. Did these people even own a TV?

They used their own phones? Like their regular ones, the ones they used in the States?

Worst escape ever. First, these schmucks “flee” to a country with an extradition treaty with the U.S. Then they can’t be bothered to ditch the old phones for a pair of $29 burners. Finally, they blow their fucking cover because they just had to have Domino’s, quite possibly the shittiest pizza on the face of the…

Ethan Couch threw himself a farewell party before he fled the country to avoid going to jail after violating his probation for killing 4 people. This dude doesn’t have “affluenza” - he has “I’mapieceofhumanexcementandamacompletefuckingmoronititis”.

I think they should just make him stay in the Guadalajaran jail.

Not true this time.

There’s a bit of downplay on the gambit that the judge made for this fucker. The jury wanted to punish him, of course, but he was a minor and his punishment would have been non-severe regardless. And his record would have been expunged when he reached adulthood. So, she (the judge) puts him on…

I imagine them seeing a bunch of criminals in the movies and on TV talking about “heading south to Mexico” and just assuming that once they’re across the border they’ll be untouchable.

So he’s too “affluent” to go to prison for killing four people but not too “affluent” not to eat a Dominos Pizza?

Decides to go on the lam somewhere outside the United States.