Advice from this New Yorker: stay home. Seriously. It’s cold and wet and gross out. For the price of cable and a working television set, you can watch the ball drop from the comfort of your own living room, in your pajamas. You can even watch it naked. You can get as drunk as you want. It’s honestly the best bargain…

You mad that the cops didn’t kill this woman?

Funny ... when Buddhists and Hindus spend lives in simplicity and contemplation, it's considered deep and meaningful. When Catholic women do it, it's considered weird and repressed. How dare they decide to devote their lives to a spiritual quest and serving others when they could be focusing on clothes, shoes, money…

So working as a secretary or data entry clerk in a windowless corporate office for an insurance company for 40 years is the highest and best use of time?

As a resident of San Diego, I hope you’re wrong, but you’re probably right about a stupid fence. As is it, there are ugly ropes and warning signs and stuff sometimes to keep you from going too far to the edge of local cliffs. Also, I remember reading that the guy wasn’t a local - he was a stupid tourist, which makes…

This can’t be the first time this has happened, right?

I’m on Team Grow-Up-and-Figure-Out-How-to-Co-Parent. I am not impressed with the behavior of either adult in this situation.

As a professional loser of things to the ocean-er, I call complete and utter bullshit on this story. No way this happened as he’s telling it.

A few years ago I was at the wedding of two 18 year olds. It was outside at a small lake. After the ceremony the entire wedding party jumped in the lake. The groom lost his ring after 15 minutes of marriage.

Tomorrow’s Gawker Headline:

This has nothing to do with the post, but my boyfriend and I just decided to elope in Zanzibar this summer and I’m too happy and excited to not tell *someone*

So we all agree that he went out and had a copy made, right?

I prefer the Unfazed Grandmother approach:

I think Taylor Swift passes them out the first Friday of every month.

I’ve become convinced that Trump is actually either the greatest troll to ever troll, or a deep undercover agent for the DNC.

My neighbor still inexplicably has a jack o’lantern on their stoop and it looks better than Donald Trump does. It’s also much less sexist, racist and mindlessly malicious.

Riot shields are 5 feet long and weigh about 20 lbs. :/ They’d work great in an open space but be useless in an apartment hallway. (where would you throw it if you needed to ditch it quickly to go hands on with someone? If you dropped it in front of you, you’d trip over it. If you dropped it behind you, one of your…

I do not trust Al-Jazeera America to give me correct information just like I do not trust FOX News to give me correct information. I may be wrong, but I’ll pass on anything that has ‘Al-Jazeera’ in the name.

I'd much rather adopt a new dog and give it a home than to spend a shit ton of money to clone my previous dog. We already have too many unwanted animals, so I'm not a fan of this. I also feel the same way about orphaned children.

I got bit by a fucking mosquito yesterday. That’s all kinds of wrong.