How is “a woman afraid of what society thinks eventually overcomes that fear and does what she wants” not an improvement over “a man roofies and rapes a woman who just wants to get home to her family”?

For such a smart lady, Hillary surrounds herself with some complete fucking idiots.

I hear the heir to the throne is a former vagrant and thief who used lies and manipulation to marry his way into royalty. This man’s only friends are a monkey and a rug- a genetically-modified, sentient rug. His record of harassing and assaulting law enforcement is lengthy, and he’s been known to visit brothels.

1) I’ll probably vote for Hillary Clinton for a number of reasons, even though I dig Bernie and what he’s doing for lefty politics.

Here’s the thing.

Dude stole from older, richer, whiter guys. It’s like the only thing a guy in his position could do that will land him in serious shit. Allegedly.

My first question was, HE HAS FANS?? WTF.

Christmas came early! Remember friends, every time a Martin Shkreli is arrested an angel gets its wings...an AIDS patient gets their meds...overpriced musical memorabilia isn’t sold to a douchebag.

For $10 I will come over to your house, light some cheapo tea candles and spill a lot of wine. You provide the wine.

Yeah, fuck that noise. Yankee Candles ARE expensive candles, ffs.

Shout out to all my fellow Jezzies who read “inexpensive Yankee candles” and thought about how you only get Yankee candles when they're on the clearance endcap at TJ Maxx.

Juries don’t declare mistrials. That’s what the judge is for.

Honestly, if you end up with one juror essentially saying “the police are selfless civil servants and besides, the dirty... er, inner city thug probably had it coming”, and then on the other side, another juror saying “all these damn pigs deserve to die, set this one in a chair and I’ll pull the switch myself!”, and…

But, you see, he can’t have real consequences. He’s allergic.

Kids aren't born like this. You make them like this.

How the fuck is every old person’s school on a hill?

Special snowflake syndrome - we walked three miles in six feet of snow, uphill both ways year-round.

Welcome to the real world, kids. Nobody gets a break in the age of technology. I love how the one kid exaggerates and pretends like a hoax terror threat somehow equates to “we probably dying.”

‘Whoa, where did that come from, what’s that about,’