Pretty much every 15-year-old is going through a transitional period. Mine is expressing his through alternating periods of being a young genius, a total jerk and an occasional dumbass. Willow simply has a better budget than most.

“...Allowing different surnames risks destroying social stability, the maintenance of public order and the basis for social welfare.”

“My first album in my entire career,” find “my ancient soul,” I mean... there is much to snicker at. It's called nepotism, Willow, and you have a spectacular case of it.

I’m completely fine with the very real possibility that I will live out the rest of my life having never watched this video.

Welcome to the South!

Eh. It’ll be fine. You’ll find your people. Just because the most public people from an area are assholes doesn't mean everyone in that area sucks. I'm gonna turn this on you because it will make more of an impact not because I'm a dick. That's like me saying oh dear lord no! I'm not moving to Florida! That place is…

Well, you already live in Florida & seem to enjoy it despite its stereotypes, so I bet you’ll find something good about Arkansas :)

I moved from NYC to Missouri a few years ago, and it’s really been OK. I also know a few wonderful people who have come here by way of Bentonville... not all is lost!

I can not stand the fake explanations parents give for conception. One coworker told me about how they told her 4 year old that mom and dad went to the bean store and picked out the most perfect bean and she swallowed it and now it’s growing into a baby in her tummy.

Agreed. Read the headline and though “oh boy, here we go again.”
Pop the champaigne, we’re not nearly as racist as I thought.

Hopeful guests with stereotypically white names—like “Meredith O’Brien,” which was a name used in the study—garnered positive responses 50 percent of the time. Guests with black names—like “Rasheed Jackson,” also used—received positive responses at a rate of 42 percent.

Thank you! My 38 year old self will use that punctuation for all it’s worth.

in my experience, the period indicates the sender is not so much “less sincere” as “more old”

OR they are over the age of 35 and just can’t let a sentence go without proper punctuation because they weren’t raised that way. Cher excepted because she has the soul of a teenager I suppose.

Wait, so somehow this Marquez idiot is not in jail after saying they had planned an earlier attack and somehow this confession was supposed to deflect from suspicion about his role in the attacks? Surely there must be some way to get this creep put away.

Behold hand-crafted teacups, and copper mugs filled with hot mulled wine,

Seriously. I do not understand it.

I clicked this just to find out what the fuck “cuffin season” is and after reading approximately 50% of this article I am approximately 200% stupider than I was.

They’re just making shit up to fuck with us, aren’t they.

Reading this felt like I’d just been handed the instruction manual to a device I’d never heard of, badly translated through six languages before landing on English.