Probably the poop on her thong.

Fuck fishes get money

No one has to tan to have a healthy looking complexion.

Your wish is my command

Pronouncement of marriage to occur at exactly 9:26

I don't know why people don't understand that some of us just have messed-up brain chemistry. It would be lovely if we lived in a world where hard work, determination, and the power of positive thinking could fix everything, but that's just not the case, yet the many common misconceptions about mental health have lead…

I did the only thing a person can do after a kind of bummer year followed by a string of craptacular world news - NEW PUPPY.

Literally no where does it say what that is. How could they have googled it? I love LMGTFY but this is not a good use of it.

Or just DRINK IT ALL, like a normal person.

"The concept comes from founder Steve Young, who wanted a growler (a jug that you hook up to a tap and store alcohol in) to keep fresh for more than a few days."

drinking before smoking, rookie mistake.

I fell asleep and woke up in the ER two days later. This is what I've been told, I still have no memory of that week.

But it could be worse,

I just googled what you might mean by TTC. That acronym stands for the local public transit system in my city, which is barely functional and often contentious. My first thought was "TTC symptoms? Like, rage and impatience?"

hey lindy, will you do one of your weird-food review thingies about that bizarre waffle breakfast taco?

How I know I'm an Old, reason #56385: I still associate Christina with YoSaffBridge. Never seen Mad Men.

You guys. I just made up a joke:

My future kitten (comes home in four weeks) is named Malcolm. The foster home named him that and I thought, "Well, I always wanted a sci-fi themed name...." So we are keeping it! His full, legal, registered name will be Captain Malcolm Reynolds and we will call him Mal.