Chris Martin was not feeling great when he got divorced from Gwyneth Paltrow, but he’s feeling pretty great now.

I have had only one slumber party, and after that one my mom said never again. It was mainly because of the girl who put herself in the dryer...and the other girl who turned it on for a second. We all started screaming at her. The girl in the dryer was just fine.

I’m really happy for Pamela Anderson. I have liked her since she produced the ridiculously self-aware VIP.

Pfft, Kelly, my cat put himself in the washing machine. Rookie.

1.“Zooey con­verted to Judaism for Jacob,” an insider reveals to Us.

Once again Mark Shrayber pandering to the bleating hearts.

like this?

I am so glad! Now I can sleep tonight.

Can Glock be a divorced dad who just couldn’t let go of the job? Can he have an adorable daughter who if we hit syndication numbers becomes attractive to the point that the show kind of has to address it?

That will always and forever be The Josh And Toby Show for me (despite how much I love most of the rest of the cast, too).

HOW ARE THEY ALL SO BAD AT ACTING

HAHAHAHAHA “Shades of Blue”??? HAHAHAHAHA this is going to suck soooo hard. I mean, the name itself is bad enough but it’s also NBC but most of all, it stars JLo, and acting is the only thing she does even worse than singing.

Well, it does star Jennifer Lopez and Ray Liotta.

If she goes to jail, it’ll be a pretty damn short series. So no, she’s probably not going to suffer any real consequences. And we’re going to learn all about what a great guy her partner is and why he shouldn’t lose everything because he murdered someone. Unless there is an extreme fucking plot twist in the very first…

Can we stop with the whole “ur doin it to urself” thing please? Sure, there are probably upwards of several hundred couples in Manhattan who are both employed, with young children, who have attempted to craft a Halloween costume out of mason jars and pallets, but that really isn’t life for most of us (admittedly…

It’s really very simple.

They are wealthy enough to have great expectations for their kids, but poor enough to not have all the tools to get them meet those expectations (ie right preschool, right private school, right college, right connections for jobs).

Touched-Nerve Rant ahead (sorry in advance for my undirected frustration): Fuckin cancer. It’s become tragedy/porn. It’s sick. Everybody’s sick of seeing cancer. It’s been so romanticized that the average person doesn’t think it will ever happen to them/their loved ones and it feels like romantically tragic fate if it…

If this was more like life as I know it, Milly and Jess would have had a fight and drifted apart long before because of their different life goals and value systems. Like how are they going to afford or want to go to the same brunch place?