That’s the spirit! Maybe we can talk Jerry Lewis out of retirement. A worthier cause there never was.

My husband would commiserate. I’m THE WORST!

This is why parents have got to teach their sons to do their own damn housework.

I’m with you so much. Can we all just agree that this whole genre of “men suck at domestic things” is just fucking awful. Like, I am a man. I also like to make sure the kitchen is reasonably clean, and years of living without a dishwasher means I’m 100% okay with washing dishes on my own.

Dig this: Every time my sister (with her glorious six-figure income and the demands that go with) tries to hire a cleaning lady on the regular her husband (a musician) insists he’ll do it and they don’t need to waste the money. Problem is - he never does. But he tries to control how she spends the money she earns.

I had been hoodwinked, bamboozled, conned, duped, flimflammed.

My aunt commented that it was so nice that my husband “helps” with the housework. I think that attitude is telling. Despite the fact that it’s just as much his house, mess, and laundry as mine and I have a job with long nasty hours, people like my aunt still see his contribution as “helping” to what is ultimately my…

This is why living together before marriage is such a great test. If my then-boyfriend had expected me to do all the work, or even a majority of it, we would not still be together. I can’t for the life of me understand why a woman who works as many hours as her partner would ever put up with this sort of scenario…

Pity the poor manbaby who can’t handle routine adult tasks like keeping his home clean. Can we organize a telethon to help? WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE MANBABIES??

Having lived in a northern latitude, you learn to adapt. You just put blackout curtains on the windows (or if you are cheap, blankets). 3 AM sunrises aren’t really a big deal, been there done that.

“realizing how many of my friends were really just “party friends”.”

That’s exactly it. I’ve worked most of the time change shifts, and it gives some funny results like this. I always add a line “Call started at XXXX EDT and ended at XXXX EST”. It’s only on one report anyway.

My cousin told me that a day or two before our grandmother died, she was talking to her own late mother and sister: “But Mama, I’m not ready to go... Shut up, JoAnne!”

Just a shot in the dark, but the trouble with Loki is, he’s really smart, and when he’s bored, he starts acting out. It starts with a (from his POV) snarky sense of humor, and then escalates as the story goes on.

Holy fuck, this hideous clown on stilts just walked down the middle of the street. It was a great costume and all, but it gave me the serious creeps; my nephew, who’s four, ran crying inside and refused to come out while Stilt Clown was on the scene. I was trying to convince him that all clowns are people with make-up…

Oh, fuck me, is that tonight? I’m working grave at the drunk tank on Halloween night, and you’re telling me I’ve got an extra hour of the normies in costumes screaming about their constitutional rights?

I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend’s mind. Rip.

I had to share this with someone. My BFF was talking about the interview today. First, she called Leah “Some crazy lady” I said “You mean Leah Remini who’s been an actress forever, King of Queens etc? And, before we continue this conversation are you actually going to take a pro-Scientology stance because we can just…

Then you must also love that magical day when you get to sleep for one hour less. What a wonderful day that is. It’s full of cheerful people and increased productivity.

I remember all the stories that came from Tom’s people right after Katie left about how “hurt” he was. Bullshit. He was furious. She used Scientology’s own rules against him by getting out before Siri was officially indoctrinated so that they’d both be labeled suppressive and he’d have no choice but to stay away. She…