I read this monologue in Sarah Michelle Gellar’s voice and it just made me miss Buffy so much :’(

Agreed. Back before people knew how crazy Scientology is, Nicole used to get a lot of criticism for “abandoning” her children. That must have hurt.

If Tony Ortega and Going Clear are to be believed, the Church told their kids that Nicole is a “suppressive person” - basically someone who is the enemy of the church and they have to be more or less cut off. So Cruise and the Church poisoned the kids against her. From interviews and gossip tidbits and such, it sounds…

I feel so fucking bad for Nicole Kidman. I cannot even imagine the pain she must have felt losing her children to a cult. She was smart enough to get herself out, but it looks like it was too late for her kids and that is so fucking tragic. I’m sure the bullshit propaganda that Scientology spins about her is heinous.…

Yeah, she’s truly a class act. When I think back to some of those quotes from the interview cited in yesterday’s DirtBag, it makes it seem like she’s quite the bastion of calm and forgiveness. She said some things that made it sound like she was in a pretty dark place for a while, undoubtedly due to all the crap that…

I suppose you’d see more anger if the reason people like Rihanna was because of her really astute social commentary.

“I still am absolutely in contact with all of them. Absolutely.”

“I’ve chosen not to speak publicly about Scientology. I have two children who are Scientologists — Connor and Isabella — and I utterly respect their beliefs.”

“I still am absolutely in contact with all of them. Absolutely.”

I know Rihanna is kind of like an idol around these parts, but there’s really no anger at all about her calling Rachel Dolezal a hero? Not even a snarky comment? I’m a little surprised by how it’s all about her upcoming album rather than her statements about Dolezal. Unless it was sarcasm that went way over my head…

That’s the kind of dedication I’ve come to expect from Lucille 2.

One of my coworkers is a youngin’ (22). We kind of prod him about it because it’s adorable some of the things he finds new and interesting and he’s so excited about it.

Life is so much better with the IDGAF attitude that I have decided that even IF people give a fuck, it doesn't change anything.

Same. My wife, kid and friends, boss co-workers? Sure.

Having the reception at a mall makes it too easy. If you’re opening your reception to the public, hold it in a dome at the bottom of a remote mountain lake or on board a chinook helicopter hovering over the exact geographic center of Death Valley or in an old abandoned Swedish missile silo or something. Make ‘em work…

What’s the opposite of crashing that wedding? I’m going to do whatever that is.

It’s probably getting drunk by myself, which I was going to do anyway.

People, stop trying to be interesting. You are, in fact, very, very boring.

Happy Anniversary!! I hope tomorrow is even cooler than your cool wedding, cool lady.

ETA: Saying the word ‘cool’ so many times has started to look sarcastic, when I mean genuine well wishes for your day tomorrow. I’m not changing it though, because I DO hope tomorrow is cool and I think you’re a cool lady and as we…

As someone who is dealing with the nightmare of invitations (ordering them, tracking responses, and trying to wheedle names and addresses out of my in-laws who keep saying stuff like, “OK the Joneses’ names are Kevin and Lisa — or is it Laura? And they have three kids, or is it four?” I mean, my god how do you NOT…

I refuse to go to weddings that aren’t open bar. I don’t care if you don’t feed me or have flowers... but damn, you can pry my gin and tonic out of my cold dead hand.