Thanks. I need hugs, but I’ll settle for internet hugs.

OMG. Thanks for reminding all of us who can remember the 80s how absurdly unsafe all the playground equipment was. My brother broke limbs repeatedly on our elementary school playground, and the administration was like, “eh, happens all the time.”

Tbh, it was probably a worse day for the lizard, who got thrown across a yard.

I grew up in the 1980s, which means that my childhood swing set was made of child-unsafe metal. The top bar of it was actually a long, hollow metal tube that, when yelled into, sounded very much like a megaphone.

My grandparents were two of the foremost experts on daddy long legs in the United States. So when I was a kid and we’d visit their house, their study was FULL of vials of daddy long leg and spider samples. True story.

The important part of this story is that I was four months pregnant. Soooo gagging in generally already.

A SPHINX-TER

Oh it sucks. I’ve had to tell an employee that she smelled like cat piss. Another one that he needed to use deodorant. Another that her clothes need to be ironed and free of cat hair when coming to work.

I’m just pleased we’re bringing back investifarting.

what do you call a teacher that won’t fart in public?

“Michelle and Ryan’s nups, which took place on a remote island in Thailand that could only be accessed by “traditional wooden long-tail boats,” had everything: escort cards calligraphed atop “foraged river rocks,” hand-dyed silk flags for no reason, food poisoning, bridesmaids that knew how to sing, and macaque…

Frankly, yes. I don’t mind giving my time or money for the weddings of the people I love.

It’s not the guests fault that the bride and groom went broke over a wedding.

You sound very bitter. If you don’t want to go, just decline the invite, don’t RSVP yes and then no show. I’ve certainly never seen a wedding of a good friend or family member as a hassle, I actually look forward to them and have fun at them, believe it or not.

You are treating someone who is trying to show you hospitality as though their time and their friendship is something that you don’t value. We’re going to have to disagree about whether that is rude.

Complete narcissism? Expecting people to be at a party they RSVPed “yes” to isn’t narcissistic; it’s good manners.

Yes, and maybe not just for weddings? I had multiple people tell me they were coming to my birthday. Not only did they not show up but also one of them threw his own party on the same day (and invited a couple of the other people who said they were coming to have drinks with me). WTF people?

Same here. We had a few RSVP no-shows, but the thing that totally pissed me off was that my wife’s brother (who has been known to just disappear for years at a time, and whom she hadn’t seen in 10 years or heard from in 3 years) called her from the airport during the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding to…

I guess agree to disagree on this one. People spend a lot of money and planning for a wedding day. For people who RSVPd not to show for an event that is (hopefully) a once in a life time situation that the couple chose to share with them and paid for their attendance of, its incredibly rude. Not saying these people…

Also, if it’s an open bar, you generally pay per guest regardless of how much they consume. At my wedding, everyone will have to take a breathalyzer before they leave, and if they haven’t had their allotted booze, they’ll need to stick around until they do. I paid for that wine; you’re gonna DRINK IT AND LIKE IT!