My takeaway from this story: I really want a Fudgsicle.

Is it bad that I think the “am I a slut?” fight is kind of the friend’s fault? It’s not really fair to ask someone a question as if you want to hear their opinion when you’re actually just fishing for reassurance. If the only answers to something are yes, no, or maybe and you don’t want to hear no or maybe, perhaps…

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she said. “Get out of my house.”

sweet baby jesus, people like this are fucking insufferable. get better friends.

Barbie t-rex at all times.

So Chris can’t enter:

Today’s Dirt Bag + yesterday’s BCO Aussie story have me wanting to go to Australia so bad so bad.

As promised, I am reporting back on my friends’ wedding, aka the first wedding I have ever been to, aka social anxiety hell, aka aaaah my ex-boyfriend will be there, aka aaaah my former best friend who hates me a bit will be there, aka aaaah how do I high heels.

It was fine. It was completely fine. Everyone who told…

Doing anything worthwhile isn’t easy...

My roommate’s cat, who I love as my own, is a tortoiseshell (with maybe some calico thrown in) and she just does not shut up. I love her dearly, but it’s meow meow meow all the time. I’ve dubbed her “little miss meowzers” for this very reason. I also carry on conversations with her, asking about her day. It can be…

It’s numbing! Your nostril doesn’t feel a damn thing during the snort. (Cocaine was developed as a dental analgesic and boy howdy it works.)

What a time to be alive.

My mom has a cat and for the first couple of years she had no idea how to retract her claws because as a kitten my parents’ dogs adopted her, and dogs don’t do that. It wasn’t till my parents got new kittens that it was like a lightbulb went off in her head saying .... hey! I’m a cat!

Hmm. My cat rarely meows but does those little purring chirping noises instead—”brrrt.”

My family has had, like, 3 cats that just could not figure out meowing. They would open their mouths, make a beeping noise, and look confused, every day of their lives. Is this a common thing? Are our cats just dumb?

Free tampons will just encourage the kids to have periods!

They are certainly expensive, and not the most environmentally friendly choice, but not everyone can use a menstrual cup. I tried, and it was difficult to put in, and painful to take out. It just doesn’t work for some people. Some people can’t justify spending $20 to find out if they like it or not. Some people are…

I somehow obtained the key to the dispenser in my high school and would just hand them out. The thick as hell pads left a lot to be desired though.

I’m into sex FOR the penetration. The rest I can do myself.

This cannot possibly be news to most people. I’m cool with like, 20 minutes start to finish and then Netflix.

Oh god I miss the seasons so much! We have “hot” and “not hot” in Texas. It’s so monotonous. I miss the different smells and plants and hues of sunlight that come from having seasons.