I’m all for self improvement though. If you can afford it, it makes you happy and you DON’T LIE ABOUT IT (K family is notorious for this), then make it happen.

Well I, for one, am glad. More Calvin Harris in skivvies, please. He's just....he's really, really hot, you guys.

Taylor Swift would have an genetically engineered bf.

Yeah, I’m going with Swiss cheese girl too. “She was JUST ASKING!! How HARD would it have been for the server to just ANSWER?! NOT EVERYONE KNOWS DIFFERENT TYPES OF CHEESES ARE CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE GAWD”

I’ll counter. I say “intentionally lowball your reservation to ensure seating” followed by “I’ve never seen steak on a sandwich before, I have to double-check this outlandish concept prior to ordering.”

Nah, chicken salad story is BS. Everyone knows that wheat and American cheese always denotes a chicken salad sandwich. It's common knowledge in Barrow, AK, a place I once visited.

They understand how reservations work, but think that the word revolves around them and that the normal rules don’t apply.

This is so bizarre to me, too. I had to be talked into a normal first dance with my husband and even that was a stretch. Kind of felt like people had to look at me for way too long as it was and I wanted to drink and dance with my college friends. I have no interest in the big events in my life going viral or being…

I am getting SO much grief for not doing an “epic” grand entrance with my bridal party, where all the bridesmaid/groomsmen pairs dance in (with props), and then me and the groom dance in. This video is why we are not doing that. Also, I just don’t wanna.

Rhianna has never made a better pop song than “Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to Father).”

it was a simpler time

Nelly’s legendary “Hot In Herre” even though they have no idea what it means for sweat to drip down their balls

In a box somewhere in my garage, a mix CD exists with this on a road trip playlist.

I feel like this could be taken as shots fired in a glorious pizza chain war that could carry on for months, if not years. You deliver a pizza to our pizza joint, so we send our employees undercover to pose as asshole customers and make ridiculous demands. They spike our water supply, so we burn down their city hall.

RE: Gina’s story: The Simpsons taught us the opposite long, long ago.

itty bitty titty comittee member here.

It’s so late and no one will see this but my band played our first gig tonight and I feel AMAZING!! It went so well, everyone had fun, and we ended up jamming with the other band that played until after close. I’ve only been singing for a year or two (I was a classically trained violinist before I gave it up for a…

Yay! So happy for you both!

I am a better person and feminist for it.

Just want to say that my former account (MissAndry) got banned yesterday for god knows why. So, this is my new account, though honestly if I’m going to just waste away in the greys, I may peace out for good. That pains me deeply because this shit is my escape from daily life. I love talking to y’all and hearing your…