Now you did that to me. I need brain bleach and I need it now.

This is my favorite thing.

Look, take whatever risks you want, but cooking popcorn in an open pan just takes longer than cooking it with a lid on.

Leafy greens are big water-suckers and pathogenic runoff from factory farms infiltrates the water system in many parts of the country. Try Googling “North Carolina” and “pig feces”. I’ll wait.

I’m just going to leave this here ...

Yes, many people who have a great rapport with others exhibit antisocial behaviors like bomb-making and the collection of racist materials - which are completely unrelated activities, of course.

This is horrifying and terrifying and disgusting, but why were there marbles included? So you’ll have something to throw at the flier distributor the next time they come by?

Don’t forget carbon monoixide detectors!

“4.68 GPA”

Reminds me of an incident on the commuter rail this fall. Two passengers got into an altercation which quickly escalated from verbal to physical, so pretty much everyone fled the carriage, the train had to be stopped for police to board, etc. In this circus, I honestly have no idea who started what, and probably…

How ‘bout those family values?

Why doesn’t he just say “firefighters” like a normal damn person. It’s 2018, it’s “police officers” and “firefighters”.

Anarchists: I see our roads are crap and have been crap for some time. They will probably continue to be crap. Let me fix this, because I can and I want people to be safe.

Land of the free, home of the preventable concussion.

Do you have a link for that? I’d love some facts with which to bludgeon the close-minded.

I will take “Unmitigated Bipolar Disorder*” for one thousand, Hazel.

I tagged this bookmark with“the relentless f***ing nightmare that is our reality”. How I yearn for the days before I started using it. How I yearn for more power than is exercised by my dementedly determined but ultimately futile barrage of emails to my legislators.

I took Krav Maga for five months, then moved to a city where lessons were prohibitively expensive. Eight months later, I accidentally stepped on a guy’s heel in the subway and as he wheeled around with his fist up, I automatically shifted my feet and weight into a defensive stance and brought my arms up to deflect a…

I have a German cousin who is devastatingly attractive and have only met once, and rarely in my life have I known relief as blissful as when I asked my grandmother exactly how I was related to this cousin and it turns out that we are not really related. He’s my grandmother’s cousin’s stepston.

YESSSSS