Strangely, this is why I LOVE “Neighbors.” Rose Byrnes is a wife who is not portrayed as a nag or lame or a killjoy. When the crap hits the fan, there’s even an awesome exchange about that sucky trope, which you may read below, wildly paraphrased because I haven’t seen the movie in a couple of years.

I love your name sooo much

For god’s sake. Just stop.

I literally and involuntarily gagged multiple times reading this story. How is there no evidence she was being harassed because of her race or ethnicity?? That horrifying Facebook confession sure seemed like some evidence and I’m guessing it’s just the tip of the nightmare iceberg. So sick of authorities calling this…

What is that dance move? They look like they’re giving birth. I’m not opposed to that at all, I just have a sneaking suspicion that that’s not what they were going for ... and I’d like to know what they *were* going for.

Right?? I suspect I will never be rich, because if I was in charge of giving people channels and a dangerous, oppressive cult said to me, “Please give us a channel, we will give you millions of dollars,” I would be considerably startled and say some polite variation of, “Uh, kindly take your blood money and screw off.”

You can ski uphill, it’s just absurd, exceedingly difficult, uniquely exhausting, and totally not worth it. Wait ...

Especially since I’m really, really good at throwing rocks. Or I was when I was a teenager. [I guess it’s time to head outside and brush up.]

The weird thing is, I have taken Krav Maga and know how to handle handguns, and when I was robbed at gunpoint, I just complied. I DID NOT feel afraid and helpless; I felt prepared, and I felt both calm and terrified at the same time - yeah, it’s possible. [He had a gun and it was scary, that doesn’t mean I lost my…

So a teacher who’s been trained once a year must now not only be a shooter as proficient as a police officer, but also become Rambo, ducking and weaving and utilizing cover to get within seven yards of the gunman without being taken out, in order to secure that sweet, sweet opportunity to take the critical shot - with…

I will take “Jubilee” for $1000, Ron.

Even assuming they effed up. Some people get forced int a “bad decision” or ten because they’re so constrained by their circumstances that it’s the least of all evils.

I’d really rather not think about it, even entertaining the possibilities for a moment made me feel like I’d dropped into a deep spot in a lake. There’s that whole thing about staring into the abyss, you know...

Way ahead of you.

I embrace the same philosophy! We should be friends. Together we can wander around earnestly trying to help and not harm and then promptly and sincerely apologizing when we fail.

One of my friends is Deaf and once ended up in a wheelchair at the airport because when it was offered to her, she said, “Yes, thank you, my inability to hear is really affecting my legs today,” and when the guy nodded and stood aside for her to sit in it she was just too dumbfounded or exhausted to say anything else.

It’s almost like people don’t want to hang out with people who don’t compromise with them or act compassionately. Which is why my Deaf friend used to give me literal pats on the head and call me “one of the good ones,” a compliment which I will cherish unto the grave.

I am also hearing. One of my friends is Deaf, and I have several Deaf acquaintances. I get where you’re coming from, but I disagree with you, and please stay with me here: You or I or anyone else can be a jerk unintentionally. Sometimes this is subtle; see Scenario A. Sometimes this is a violation of basic social…

If I’m ever in a position of authority, I am going to aggressively weed that sh*t out, and if other people fight me on it or defend the oppressor I’m going to tell them to Google this case or how much police misconduct costs taxpayers every year and see if their greed is stronger than their compassion. I’m guessing,…

This realization has won them a fantastic grand prize of abject, soul-sucking depression and feelings of crushing, immobilizing powerlessness!