That's sooo cool!!! Did I ever tell you about the time I tried out to be the Eagles kicker, and got to meet Donavan Mcnabb?!?! He looked a lot like LL Cool J in your autographed picture... Weird right?

Wife?

Oh god yes!!! That's verbatium, what I was thinking!!! It was like watching a car wreck, or unsuccessful surgery...if I didn't really care about the occupants/patient:-(

Because pizza rat didn’t carry around a pizza box:(

10 out of 10!!! Would nut in the combover

I prefer high brow stuff... Like two and a half mem🚽💩💣

Something’s missing here, and I can’t put my finger on it (or my thumb), I hope they can contain this rash of stories before the whole thing blows up!

If you don’t stay in the parking lot, drinking, 2 hours after the final whistle... You should be fine:-/

Drew egged him on... This isn't the first time he's tried to convince someone to kill a Patriots fan!

Obviously it was Drew Margery... He really hates patriots fans:-(

Control Alt... Or delete:-(

Most of them have to buy their own school supplies... So now they'll have to spend that money on a $900 sig sauer instead of glue sticks and erasers:-(

I guess it’s more of an indictment that philly brought him up, paid him big, and kept him around for so long. He fit the culture. Eagles fans were awarded “most violent, worst fans in pro sports”... Second place was the fucking flyers, with the Phillies shoring up the trifecta. You are a garbage person from a garbage…

I haven't seen a football metaphor that bad since Dennis miller did MNF color commentary:-/

Seriously... In that unique situation, where u have already proven yourself worthy of a first round slot in the draft... To endanger your health with no compensation, and risk losing out on tens of millions of dollars, for “school spirit”?!?! You would need to be soooooo stupid, that your SEC edjewlayshun is not going…

Idk... I messed myself up for free, sports are fun. If they want a paycheck, the could check with the CFL. Or the NFL should pre-sign them, $100,000-$1,000,000 signing bonus to last 4 years, then they either make it pro, or fall back on that stellar SEC edjukayshun:(

I love bomani... But still, he's being a complete dick.

Seriously... Philly is the worst! “Bat day” probably gets out of hand, and they also may as well do “D cell battery day”...

Dear Andrew,

Nope. The town is on life support... Why do you think it looks so ripe for the picking for the sibling fucker supremacists? Property values will bottom out to the value of the copper pipes... Unless an influx of new demand (yes, even racist fuck faces... If they are competing for lots!) drives up the values in the…