I like this story; I don’t care that it never happened

An assault case should help their draft stock because NFL teams love players who had a pro-style offense in college.

Sounds like Nadir has really hit rock bottom.

They’re innocent. Rutgers doesn’t beat anyone.

I still don’t understand why they’re paid with money, and not with education....

I’m fairly certain the first guy to publish a scouting report on Andrew Luck was Gary Gygax.

THIS IS LIKE A LEVEL 7 DICKPUNCH FROM THAT COLUMN I WROTE 12 YEARS AGO THAT EVERYONE REMEMBERS LIKE GOSPEL

The one bright side right now: at least we won’t be subjected to a Simmons column about how “BRADY AND BELICHICK ARE GONNA BE IN FACKIN’ EFF-YOU MODE ALL SEASON MY GAWD.”

Do we really want to live in a world where Roger Goodell does not have absolute power over everything?

“TOM! TOM! TOM! DOES ME HOLDING THIS MICROPHONE LIKE THIS MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A DONG?! IT LOOKS LIKE A DONG, DOESN’T IT? HASHTAG DONGERPHONE.”

“FUCK!” - Jimmy Garoppolo

I don’t think it is. I just wanted to make jokes about it.

I’m holding on to my outrage about this name until Apple introduces its male sexbot.

See:

Still waiting for some MACtion.

As a Rutgers alum I read through this article waiting to see some accurate slams of my schools’ football team only to find the largest slam of all- they weren’t even mentioned

Just a side note, the Bears bounced Favre’s head off the frozen TCF Stadium turf to end his career, not the Metrodome. I may or may not watch the replay of this incident when I’m in need of a pick-me-up.

Definitely Not Miss Piggy