I would agree with the take that leaving ESPN is a faux pas, but how do you rectify Satan’s personal take-maker Skip Bayless’ success at FS1?

How did you end up flopping around on a lava flow in the first place? What the hell is your problem?

“Fuck that kid.”

Persians

DeAndre Levy = my new favorite football player.

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

What about being eaten alive? Like still alive, watching a hyena hank your innards out of your asshole as its friends laugh and chew your arm.

Dude looks like he should be trying to kill Shelley Duvall with an axe.

Well, we have a developer in the White House, so I’m sure he’s going to get right on this.

I’m sure Mike Pence has just been telling them that they’re wrong to transition.

Meanwhile at one point 3 years ago the Tigers had Verlander, Porcello, AND Scherzer in the same rotation and we still couldn’t win shit.

I think he’s just pointing out that win-loss records still matter to a disturbingly large subset of baseball writers.

Start with Bill Maher who thinks that the reason that we lost the election is because liberals are too politically correct. Note that white straight men are never subjected to hate speech, so how the hell should he know about the shit that the rest of us go through?

*Comment comes in from top of the arc*

BUT THESE GUYS ARE SOFT. CHARLES OAKLEY WOULD PUNCH STEPH CURRY IN THE MOUTH.

Under my patented system, you’ll either become a title contender that falls apart when it matters most, or your legs will detach from your body and fly into low earth orbit on powerful jets of blood. If you put the effort in, your stomach will crawl out of your body and hunt pigeons while you train so you don’t have…

Are you surprised he has the ball to do it?

Hey, it’s me, your dog.

Say what you will about Steve Bannon, but the beauty of his soul is only matched by his physical appearance.

Pretty wild that Stormfront can’t find a single fucking grammar nazi.