You deserve this for wearing a Mets shirt to work.

I’m from the MN and was in preschool when Jacob was abducted. We still left a light on for him, and us kids would caution each other about being out at night by just saying his name. The Wetterling family’s tragedy is definitely part of the MN psyche.

I want to take a moment for those who live outside of Minnesota to try and express How Very Seriously And Deeply the people here take the Wetterling case. I moved here in 2000, and it was mere weeks before it was explained to me that one left one’s porch light on for Jacob, and how his disappearance was a loss of…

He has until the election to finish...then a man who “knows all the right words” will take over

Deadspin will not only formally endorse Trump but adopt an institutional pro-Trump stance if he can deliver on this.

Well, they both spend a lot of time talking about walls.

Jesus fuck. This is the longest SNL cold open ever.

You date the wrong camels.

Fred Armisen predicting Trump’s approach to answering Matt Lauer’s questions:

I envision a team of ninjas with giant turkey basters all over the Middle East to #taketheoil over the cover of darkness.

Both Hillary and Trump have been “quiet” recently. Its been nice. This is like waking up into a nightmare.

This was jaw dropping. Not quite as bad as women can’t work with men without stuff getting rapey, but pretty egregiously confounding nonetheless.

6. Should read “bankruptcy"

That’s what I was going to post here. I mean his supporters probably don’t but pretty much everyone else on Earth does.

The guy has worn me down. I’m voting for him just so he goes away and this stupid election stuff can be over and done with forever.

To the victor goes the spoils is a staple in my house which is why I, to this day, piss in my girlfriend’s cereal the morning after I beat her in Monopoly.

“People don’t know this about Iraq, but they have among the largest oil reserves in the world.”

I actually don’t blame him for this position.

Came here to post this! Never not hilarious and awesome.

I didn’t know star fucker was a formal level.