Ok, but how are they going to make this a movie? Without an X rating? I cannot fathom.

It's insane how there has been an explosion of published and repackaged Twilight fanfiction. I nearly bought one yesterday that sounded interesting before I saw an Amazon review that said it had started out life as another Bella and Edward fic. For fuck's sake, publishing. This needs to stop. Twilight itself was…

I read it all! Nothing to add but just thought I'd let you know:)

This was cracking me up today for no reason.

Going by the old rule of thumb that you can add 5 lb per inch of height for an equivalent overall size, you and I are roughly the same build. I would verbally tear a strip out of any doctor who got on my case about my weight...I know my lifestyle is healthy, and I'm in the good range of the BMI chart (as are you). If…

This just reminds me of the Louis C.K. bit about how the most dangerous thing in the world for women is... guess what. Men.

This is a society where you can't assign a book featuring pedophilia because parents think it's child pornography, because Americans think "context" is something a criminal does with his phone.

Exactly. You can just hear how musty the "damp" thing is when you say it.

You know how people claim they hate the word "moist"? I think "damp" might be grosser.

Oh man, I love reading awful stuff and mocking it as much as the next person, but this......I just couldn't. Couldn't bring myself to read any more after the first. It's like how I refuse to see Hostel - I just can't have that shit in my brain because it will haunt me while I sleep.

I just have to say as an English major what a joy your analysis was to read. And how vicariously embarrassed I am for the poet.

I can't bring myself to finish reading this on the day Seamus Heaney died.

This is the most I've cared about tennis in God knows how long.

Yes, by the end if the show I no longer believed him as a romantic, hapless nerd or as a good person. Three ex-wives, none of whom he treated very well, a history of being creepy and controlling with women he cares for and shallow and picky with those he doesn't, and only occasional attention to his son? Not on my…

Ah sweet! Free fish food.

I hated the monkey.

Not as bad as I thought it would be. But then again, I'm familiar with versions like the 2007 anime and the video games, so my bar is set pretty low.

That baby shoved in the little slot is freaking hysterical. You could just stick babies in there like you do your rings in the slots in a jewelry box.

"until it's all desiccated and floppy like a Bunnicula zucchini!?!?"