Would wearing a sports bro help? Because, ugh, that’s gotta be just as bad as boob bounce.

“Where the rest of your hand is?”

Your last sentence. I love you.

I have an aversion to gold hardware... but otherwise... DAMN.

Yep! There’s that, too. I know cats are supposedly happier roaming free but I honestly don’t want to worry about whether I’ll ever see them again, and what nasty things they’re dragging through the house.

I got called a monster on Facebook for having two indoor cats. First off, they’re both front declawed (and the procedure was done before they were both surrendered to shelters, and no, I would never do it myself, but yes, I would certainly look for a declawed cat if I adopted from a shelter again, not only for the…

Are you Edward Snowden’s girlfriend?

“Did anyone ever tell you, you look like a penis with a little hat on?”

*hurl*

I find myself defending her more and more lately, because people are so unreasonably nasty to her. One of my cousins (a loud, brash, gay, Hillary-loving middle-aged man) recently posted some meme on his FB page comparing pregnant Kim to a troll or something, and I just lost my shit on him. Yeah, I get it. She’s…

Yes. Many others have pointed this out. Thanks.

WOW. I’m in Chicago so I may be able to find this. Thanks!

It is. My dry, tired eyes played tricks on me.

Hahaha, that it is. I totally didn’t catch that!

This would be correct. Fuck Chicago pizza.

So, no yellow queso, then.

Is this vanilla espresso IPA real, or did you just make my day and then take it all away in a matter of seconds?

Gose is gross. IPAs forever (even though I prefer stout).

You can see Malia’s midriff though. It must be because her mom lets her listen to Beyonce.

No, but that sounds awesome!