When told he was going to lose a Brazilian sponsor Lochte was quick to ask how much a Brazilian was....

Holy shit, Americans suck.

I think the NFL was just as pants-shittingly terrified of him as everyone else. He makes the Wu Tang Clan look like something to fuck with in comparison.

“The 140 Characters You Meet In Heaven.”

Spoilers: Rosebud was the name of his electric hoverboard.

Read the fucking article before posting ignorant shit. It’s like 100 words total.

It’s actually 30-0. Cause when you cheat to win, you’ve already lost.

I think we should be more worried about this 4th swimmer who is attempting to swim all the way home

Clearly you have never fallen on a rubberized track at speed.

Messi: I have decided to retire from the national team.

Apparently an enterprising Cubs fan has made a magic number countdown.

Did you lose any? You could write Santa and ask for some more.

Some people are haters of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are FANS of the Philadelphia Eagles.

I spent a month in Philadelphia when I was unemployed. And my strongest memory from there is the time I was playing catch with a football with a friend and the football bounced behind a dumpster and when I picked it up I realized it had landed in a pile of human shit. I had human shit on my hand, so I had to wash it…

I bet Riley Cooper had that ‘coon removed from the stadium.

I preemptively feel bad for whoever his cutoff man will be.

Is this some kind of viral marketing campaign for an “Angels In The Outfield” remake?

Bosa’s mom is publicly wishing that her son had “pulled an Eli Manning”

No one could shed blockers, or blood-stained suits, faster than Ray Ray.

MOGADISHU 2028