Food and soda in a gym. Do you want Morants? Because that's how you get Morants.

“Kumar Rocker" is the kind of name that Pynchon would scrub from an early draft for being too improbable.

That’s not what I was expecting John Rocker’s kid to look like

Does he think porn is real?

The POTUS Tweeted out, mocking the Trail of Tears abuse and slaughter of Native Americans - and the fucking Left steps on its own dick by overrunning the news cycle with this self-devouring bullshit. Nobody in the GOP is calling Orange Shithead and Orange Shithead Junior for mocking the REAL deaths of thousands of…

The purity olympics in America need too fucking stop. I am a left leaning, liberal woman of color. This shit needs to stop. This is why people end up becoming the Trump supporters we see in ever-growing millions these days. Nothing is enough. They all apologized. Fred Armisen was playing Barack Obama, not making fun…

We’re so dead.

Hi! Sorry your experience at Jezebel was less than perfect. We’re working on correcting the typo, and we’d like to invite you and your friends back, on the house. Thanks for bringing this to our attention!

This evening, my friends and I wanted to really experience the feminist side of the internet so we went to Jezebel. There aren’t enough words to describe how awful it was.

folks that gif is freakin me when my beautiful and caring wife takes the last beer!!! god bless and love to (baret voice) my wife

I’ve spent my entire life trying to be the fastest at everything and I’ll be damned if I stop now. 

“Most men think this is what sex is”?? That is ridiculous. Most men reading this are horrified.

I get blisters on both heels whenever i get new shoes. By the time i get to work those have popped...those first few days are agony, lots of bandages, lots of awkward walking. I’m miserable. And I have a desk job.

Unpopular confession: I have said no when what I meant was, “I’m going to pretend I don’t want to have sex right away because I don’t want you to think I’m a slut but I definitely want to have sex.”

He was. By the person he behaved badly toward.

That efficiency is staggering.

That’s not the point, if this guy hadn’t been able to buy the AR because the Air Force did it’s job then someone else with an AR would have filled the void and given us another shooting. It’s like clockwork and individual agency failures can’t be scapegoated as the culprit.

The Portnoy system just doesn’t have the same success rate though.

Read: Gizmodo Media Group will have to pick a different, less fucking annoying advertising strategy.

I mean what do you want them to do Samer? It’s not like 29 year old QBs with Super Bowl experience are just sitting around unsigned in late August. These are the simply the options available that ownership feels comfortable with.