I'd love to see FIFA replaced by a new international soccer federation, and for the US to be on board. However, how do you see us taking a leadership role in the process? As a country with few of the world's best players, none off the world's best teams and limited fan interest, what leverage do we have?

If you're looking for a novelty sports act that's even worse, search "JD and the Straight Shot."

Surely, this is what hell is like.

"Re-raise!"

Which is why he said "Guess he'll just have to worry about pedicures, now."

Better headline than "ESPN Transposed Two Numbers," I guess.

Ditch the beanie. Own the baldness. Some women may like thick hair, but all women like confidence.

The problem here is that Wagner failed to define "destruction." If we adopt your metric (number of attributable deaths), then of course you're right. But there are other metrics by which gambling is, indeed, more destructive.

Where was the death threat?

Yes, you're being cynical. In fact, you're being so cynical that it would probably benefit you to take a step back and have a conversation with yourself about, "why am I like this, and how might my life improve if I didn't always look for the negative in positive things?"

You are far more than just a little cynical. What you're projecting on to this ad is analogous to imagining that somebody trying to disarm a bank robber is actually intending to take the gun and shoot up a school.

This is actually the best case scenario, because now we have the choice to be sanctimonious about driving under the influence and criticizing Taveras for his reckless and immaturity, or, we can be sanctimonious about people failing to respect the sanctity of life and not knowing when is the right time for a dick joke.

One of you is.

This adage represents so much that is wrong with the American work culture. And perhaps NZ work culture, too, if your username is any indication.

Beautiful city. Beautiful country. Beautiful people. But man was it tough to enjoy just because of the sense of anxiety that happened every time I opened my wallet. If I recall, we paid sixteen Euro for a beer, which is ~$20. We'd try to save money by buying gas station food, but even that was like $15 for a…

Your headline makes it sound like he was trailing pre-flop and won by outdrawing his opponent, which is not the case.

PROBLEMATIC! PROBLEMATIC! PROBLEMATIC! PROBLEMATIC!

Aaaaaaaaargh! Not Gaffigan! Anybody but him and that horrible "voice" he does which is the most painfully unfunny comedic tick/crutch I've ever seen.

If you drop off your pet to be euthanized, and let them die alone, you're terrible. No wiggle room on that.

Have you seen the acceptance speech? He didn't "basically say he shouldn't apologize for only having one woman writer on staff and that it's not going to change soon." Not even close.