Your column has become my favorite read at Deadspin. Besides the fact that you write engagingly, you're one of the few writers for the site that has more passion and regard for his subject than for the sound of his own voice.

Redacted for lack of originality. And lack of puns, which seems to be the real sin around here.

I don't understand when people dismiss sex as "not a big deal." Sex is the biggest deal.

I don't get it. Why is it weird that McConaughey's character's cousin is played by somebody seven years younger?

"If you wanna be my lover/ You gotta get with my friends."

Drools. Cries. Shits self. A new twist on the Gordie Howe Hat Trick.

"Fail of epic proportions," huh?

In the video below, Sport Science demonstrates that as a runner begins to lay out for a slide, he actually pulls ahead of a runner running through the bag. This is because your center of gravity continues its forward momentum while also moving it closer to the bag—vertical momentum—and for a brief pico-moment, you've…

Of course the coach isn't able to process all of that as Gordon is rounding second, but if it's come to that, the coach has already failed to do his job.

"L.A. still has location going for it."

I don't know. If my team is on offense and playing against Team Cherry Pickers, I'd just make sure that one of my guards immediately drifts back towards mid court whenever one of our shots goes up.

"I'm also 5'4", which is why I am single."

I floated this question a few months ago, because she looks perfect for the role. I was told by many people that she can't act.

You insult strangers on the internet who don't share your opinion of soccer goals and I'm the one who sucks? Whatever you say, pal.

Getting consent is not hard. What is hard is knowing if that consent is sufficiently informed.

I agree that it's possible for a person to be too drunk to consent to sex.

Once in a teepee, once in a wigwam? 'Cause that would be fuckin' in-tents!

Do you confuse your opinions with fact because you're arrogant and delusional, or because as a mediocre blogger, you mix up the words "objective" and "subjective?"

Are you really under the impression that you can unilaterally declare who is right and who is a wrong in a debate? That's arrogant.

It was definitely a more interesting goal than if he'd just hit it with his right foot. I still thought the headline was hyperbolic.