When a reporter told Derrick that Butler was going to be SAT, Rose replied “Oh yeah? Who is going to take his place?”

This situation is only tragic now. It is completely sans comic.

New England should have seen it coming when Derek Anderson called out “Readyyyy.... down.... HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT”

I like pleasure spiked with pain and getting tossed from Lakers games. 

I can imagine that he doesn’t ever want to feel like he did that day. 

The instant oatmeal has exploded all over the roof of the microwave 

I’m a Dolphins fan (gag) and I honestly didn’t think it was possible to feel this unexcited about a 4-2 team. Set the over/under at 8.5 wins and I will HAPPILY bet my house on the under.

Probably less, but really: who IS productive anymore?

I hated Dan Marino, but if he were playing in this era, he’d be throwing over 6,500 yards and 70 touchdowns per season.

They’re a regular Romegoal and Julinet

How hard is it to remember the titan? 

“Summer Catch”

Take it off the (registry) board..... YES!

And yet he continues to do nothing to stop James Dolan. 

If Johnny keeps sucking like this he’s going to be sent back down to the Browns.

PROSECUTION: Would you please describe what happened early on Sunday, July 29th?

“‘This is also a thing that I do,’ is a thing that I would say, and you would read, on a website.”

The worst part was his GPS kept saying “recalculating route” over and over.

I agree with everything you say here, but think about all of his negatives, and I think you realize he is more self-aware than you think:

In Bill Simmons favor-