If it helps, they didn't kill their victim.

"the girl believed she was in communication with a number of other mythical creatures" — so, she was praying?

It's time to stop seeing this fool as your harmless, ill-informed drunken crazy uncle and get him the fuck off the airwaves!

Maybe she finally saw one of Matt's terrible interviews and threw him out on general principle.

Guys, quick: cover the bottom half of FKA Twigs' face with your hand. Could she be Lisa Bonet or what?!?!

I had to take a young relative to the pediatric ward after she was drugged and raped. The police were worse than useless, but the social worker at the hospital probably saved her life. Between the Plan B, the anti-HIV drugs and the antibiotics, my poor girl was sick for weeks. I will NEVER forget the look on her…

That is a good start but what I would love is for her to shadow me when I'm answering hospital calls for people who are suspected to have been sexually assaulted. Listen as I discuss with them their options. Should they do a kit? Should they report the kit anonymously? What about preventative meds? Plan B? Sit with me…

I just want all your days to be unambiguously great and full of sunshine and Taylor Swift and one-eyed children dressed as Beethoven. You deserve it!

Reminds me of when I was younger and someone broke into our house (happened a lot) but instead of stealing anything, they left a pot bellied pig in our basement.

I couldn't read the whole thing. I was imagining how scared the poor pig must've been.

Best.

Boy Scouts are the literal worst of the literal worst.

Turns out, someone had bought a pot-bellied pig, then decided they didn't want it and had just let it loose in the mall.

Holy. Crap. Big Foot had better be a teenager PMSing to be behaving like that. As far as too harsh, absolutely not. Cut her phone, cut her off from wifi. Because that behavior is...damn. No.

Sending her to her room is probably the least-harsh thing you could have done. After reading all of that I'm impressed you didn't drop kick her.

Christmas comes early, thanks to Vivid. No one comes, thanks to Vivid.

My birthday is exactly a week before Christmas, and as such, is almost always the day that my office chooses to have their holiday party. This has happened several times over the years with various jobs, and it is generally uncomfortable and has occasionally gotten weird.

The most memorable, however, was several…

YAAAAS best Shade Court ever.