Have a Pimm’s Cup instead. Thank me later.

some kind of unspoken stereotype of black women that they have to be strong 24/7 and carry everyone on their shoulders. Fuck that. It’s OK to be afraid.

Thor 2 is the best Thor movie and one of the best movies in the MCU and I WILL die on this hill.

Hercules Capital

I have a horrible feeling that you scraped that off onto a mirror, cut it up into lines and snorted it.

It costs a lot of money to look this cheap. -Dolly Parton 

Wait, hold up. Those Chevy commercials told me they won the JD Power Most Reliable award. You mean to tell me those awards are worthless? What about those normal people and their important opinions?

I like this game! Lake Bluff Brewing Company in Lake Bluff, IL! They have a shocking amount of taps for a very small place. Good mix of styles and ABVs. Have an extensive vinyl collection from which they play full albums, and on Tuesday you can bring in your own Album for them to play! Sizes for beers come in 10oz,…

Whats up with that needs Jason Sudeikas jumping off things to truly work

As a home owner and competent DIY weekend warrior, I have quite a few tools that I use for repairs and projects. I learned a long time ago you can be frugal on the type of power tools you buy, but DON’T be frugal when it comes to the blades & bits: a cheap tool + a good bit/blade will work 95% of the time.  

Raisins don’t even belong in Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. Replace raisins with small chunks of dark chocolate - problem solved. I also replace about half the cookie batter with natural peanut butter - but I’m crazy that way.

Raisins are one of the like, four foods I will not eat. I hate them so much.

I think the Honda Element is a great college car. Funky looking, reliable, surprisingly roomy, easy to clean interior, available AWD, available manual (good luck finding one though), can sleep in it (or other things). Unfortunately they have been out of production awhile but you can still find some with lower miles…

Whine-1-1, what’s your emergency?

A couple weeks ago I heaved 12 bags of topsoil into the back of my Prius. No problem.

Because they’re trained not too. They are trained that their lives are more important than anyone else’s and when in doubt, shoot first.

There are two secrets to making good pie crust:

Bitch please. Jay Cutler looked at that dead ass dolphin and was like, “I choke harder than that in the preseason, bro.” He then threw a pick six to the already dead dolphin.
Dude’s elite.