Well, ok, but if I get rid of my single serve coffee machine I’m going to need to find another physical manifestation for my crippling loneliness.

Let the motherfucker burn.

They can name it whatever the fuck they want, it’s the Sears Tower.

If you absolutely have to go up a tall building to see the views and be a tourist don’t wait in line or buy a ticket. Dinner service starts at 5:00pm at the signature room in the John Hancock building. If you get there when it opens you can easily grab a table by the window. You’ll be sipping drinks, being waited…

That’s easy to do because the Element is all sorts of cool.

A fun thing to do when you’re bored is turn Simpsons quotes into Rupi Kaur poems.

Yes. I am done being at work when I am at work, the last thing I want is to see Carol for free.

“Good job out there, Chemosabe.”

“Should have”

sober policy knower Paul Ryan

“I feared that some acquaintance would see me, interrogate me and never think the same of me again.”

DeVos went on to express nostalgia for “nearly full employment of the antebellum plantation system.”

It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.

So many kitty hugs to you.

I’m so sorry you lost Jewel. She seemed like a real humdinger of a cat.

What a sweet little bean :c I’m so sorry about your loss my dude

I’m so sorry about your friend. She sounds amazing. My funny 16-yr old sphynx isn’t eating at the moment, and we’re afraid. They need to live forever!

Pointing out that the Emperor Has No Clothes is a legitimate opposition tactic. Doing it daily as the sole method of your criticism, like Maddow and Olbermann, is what reduces its effectiveness.

That’s not even in the top 100 reasons why I don’t want to move to Waco and live in a fixer upper.