I ride a commuter train five days a week, total time spent commuting... just under 3 hours a day. In the 10 years I’ve been riding, I’ve seen people scream at other people because ‘their perfume was too strong’, fights (one dude put another dude in a headlock because first dude didn’t like the way second dude said…

Never let it be said you didn’t do the least you could do. A lame-ass defence for something you already decided to do: nothing.

Chicago is always a great example of the failure of politically-correct leadership.

The above looks like preproduction sketches for the costume department. Pass.

This is why I don’t need Facebook.

Let me see if I understand this: you believe your dentist converted to Judaism for the jokes?

From what I remember reading and hearing in a couple of WTF interviews with comics of that period, when David started his standup career (long before Seinfeld, long before Fridays), he was openly hostile with the audience— accusing them of not liking him, being anti-semitic, etc. He’d get 5 minutes into a set and…

Turn off autocorrect and read what you’ve typed. It helps the quality of your spelling, e-mail, and messages.

No, cos that means Trump is going to fart into his mouth while Eric & Jr. harmonize “That’s the sound of the men / Workin’ on the chain gang...”

“The three slice barrier” is now added to my personal lexicon as relates to overindulgence.

I grew up in Nebraska where there is only one professional team, the Cornhuskers. I don’t give a shit what the NCAA says, they’re a pro team. I went to the University of Nebraska and saw the help the third string meatsacks got. They couldn’t pass a basic math class and they were getting degrees in engineering,…

I don’t care. Charge them, fine them, make them serve time. 

Places not to clip your nails:

If you’re tired of being embarrassed by the old “An1mari99@yahoo.com” email address you have to enter when you log into your Apple account

That’s the ‘us versus them’ attitude I find in so many Engineers.

Send them down in a bathysphere and half way down, open the hatch. Immersion complete.

I don’t think that being scared is the object of the exercise.

Are the two correlated?

Mrs. Jabroni sites this character as the start of her long struggle with authority figures.

They see ghosts because they want to.