I grew up in Nebraska where there is only one professional team, the Cornhuskers. I don’t give a shit what the NCAA says, they’re a pro team. I went to the University of Nebraska and saw the help the third string meatsacks got. They couldn’t pass a basic math class and they were getting degrees in engineering,…

Places not to clip your nails:

If you’re tired of being embarrassed by the old “An1mari99@yahoo.com” email address you have to enter when you log into your Apple account

That’s the ‘us versus them’ attitude I find in so many Engineers.

Send them down in a bathysphere and half way down, open the hatch. Immersion complete.

That’s the joke.

Counter:

They’re called “church keys” because the triangular-shaped hole they leave looks like a church steeple.

Do you have a guide? Otherwise, this is just a “my network is sooooo much better than yours” pipe-swinging rant.

Do you have a guide? Otherwise, this is just a “my network is sooooo much better than yours” pipe-swinging rant.

David Cross needs to shut it and walk away.

The President Show called this back in May...

No chance in hell. Players need their millions, too. They’ll cave or be released.

Apple pie casserole.

Was going to suggest these and Parking Panda as well.

Tax will probably be repealed by the time anyone reads this. Preckwinkle’s done a poor job of making it stick.

I’ll go Portillo’s Cake Shake.

Another renovation...

If you want to avoid ridicule, do not ask for ketchup on a hot dog.

Don’t laugh. Penguin Classics will publish her works in their upcoming “Masters of the Obvious” series.

I totally miss my Element. Bye, bye Toaster.