Not sure if it still exists, but at Heathrow there used to be a lovely little place where you could get gravlax, brown bread, butter, and a glass of white wine for a more or less reasonable price. The ex-Mrs. Jabroni and I would make sure we got to the airport early before coming back to the US on a parental visit…

This is why Mrs. Jabroni and I adopted cats instead.

I guess with all the bullshit and evil going on in the world, people find themselves caring in blind-eye kind of way about fictional shit.

And I mandate it. 

“Cyrus”

She just didn’t want to be trapped in a bus with fifty kids.

My therapist once told me, “Negative attention is still attention.”

No, but they can wear nice jeans or other decent clothes.

When I make burgers:

Isn’t this just

The kids are gonna grow and punch each other in the arms anyway. The only way you can distract them is to have a nimble car that will allow you to drive on the sidewalks or the road. #TeamMazda

It looks like it was filmed with the ice cube tray filter. They need to fire the robot cinematographer and art director. Not everything needs to look like an oil painting.

When video game talk starts, I go do something else. Like gouge out my eyes.

It doesn’t fucking matter. I don’t ask Steve Stone why he calls White Sox games on Saturday. Or wonder how good the code is my bacon cheeseburger loving muslim co-worker.

AT&T is backing down on it’s pledge to replace all of their copper infrastructure with fiber.

she cared “very much about empowering women in the workplace” 

Kingsman was a terrible movie.

“It’s not teaching religion, but it teaches character and respect and how important it is to tell the truth,” teacher and parent Courtney Tolliver tells the Post. “The kids love it and the ones who don’t participate aren’t made to feel left out.”

It’s only basketball.

Thank fuck it’s a movie.