Or you could take $3000 and give it to the charity of your choice and generate real smiles.

The rationale makes sense. I know if I had cancer, smiling would be the thing I’d want to do all the time.

My sister just finished her chemo treatments without cracking a smile once, so I guess she’s a failure.

If you stand in front of that mirror for too long without smiling, it yells “smile, motherfucker!”, and pulls a gun on you.

If I have cancer, I can guarantee I’m going to be a morose angry motherfucker. Why do put this pressure on people going through negative shit to always be positive? Maybe I want to wallow in self pity once in a while. Maybe I save my happy self for my kids and everyone can piss off if they are too uncomfortable…

Of course, but that’s not the same as staring at a reflection of your own crazed smile that blinks out as soon as you relax your face.

I’ve started a Kickstarter for a Woke Mirror that peers into your soul and won’t show your reflection unless you’re not thinking of monetizing terrible and condescending ideas. It costs $25,000, pocket change for Silicon Valley, HMU!

The thing is, they’re not even functionally the same! It’s really hard to shave or apply makeup or pluck your eyebrows or do most of the things we normally use mirrors for while smiling. So I guess it’s actually a $2-3k gadget that...teaches you to smile? I don’t understand anything anymore.

Things mirrors are super useful for: making sure my braids are even, putting on make-up, checking my teeth for poppyseeds after I eat an everything bagel. Things I smile for: well, none of those.

We could just skip invasive surgery and ask the Joker to spray us with the non-lethal version of Joker Venom.

I’m preeeeeeeeeeetty sure my mom didn’t give any sort of fuck how HAPPY she looked while she was fighting off a brain tumor.

The “Smile Mirror” costs between $2000 and $3000, but prices are expected to lower after its forthcoming Kickstarter crowdfunding campaign.

Yeah, cancer patients aren’t like scenic vistas or sprouts fighting through cement to grow into a plant. They’re people who are facing an often life threatening disease, and they aren’t there to be a tool for inspiration.

Occam’s Razor: If two things are functionally the same, the simpler of the two is better.

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Uuuum only if said plastic surgery is a face-lift that pulls back the corners of your mouth so you have a perma-smile, baby! C’mon, you’re so pretty when you smile!

People who talk about how inspiring it is with a positive attitude in cancer patients make me want to hurl.

Well, that can fuck right off.

Makes sense. when I’m depressed and crying in front of the mirror the thing I want most is to be erased from existence.

Who might just maaaaybe take that 3 Grand and get some nifty plastic surgery instead? Show of hands?