“Scurlock” definitely is the kind of name that makes one think of a guy who masturbates in the back of a car for hire.

OMG. I’m not alone? I thought we were the only couple on the downhill side of mid-40's who aren’t having sex on a super regular basis.

YEP. Like, I’m only 37 and I’ve been with my husband for eight years, but just in the past year alone, Dude has had to de-pus and irrigate a c-section would that got infected and refused to heal for, like, EIGHTEEN WEEKS. Do you think we were boning like rabbits during this time? Fuck no; because my actual body was…

Like most great quotes, that one FEELS so right. It might not be entirely true, but it sure seems hard to dispute when you hear it.

I’m not sure I agree (I’m still formulating my thoughts), but this just seemed like a great place to post this David Lodge quote: “Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children. Life is the other way round.” 

45 here and while I’d like to have sex more often, mostly I’m tired and just want to go the fuck to sleep. The Mr. doesn’t like it in the mornings (although if we’re on vacation he’ll do it midday) so that’s not an option. We both struggle with body image and I don’t think I’m too far out on a limb saying that if that…

Hello, I’m your opposite (the low-sex half of a very stable couple) and from those of us with low interest in sex but high interest in being dependable loving long-term partners, thanks for sticking with us! :P

Agree x1000. My partner and I had amazing sex our first couple years of dating. We’re in our 30s now and we have sex less often, and when it does happen it’s not very exciting, but he is endlessly kind and supportive, cleans the house, takes care of our pets, makes me laugh like no one else and takes care of me when…

Totally agree with this. I won’t bore you with my personal life, but let’s just say that I have had a long, serious and bad relationship with great sex, and a loving, supportive marriage where the sex is only ok. And I’d take the latter every time.

I was coming to post the same thing, totally. Mid 40s with two kids now and we’re lucky to pull off once a month. And I usually have to initiate. Even like 5 years ago, I would have freaked the fuck out. It took me awhile to wrap my head around it but now I’m like, eh—-we’ll get back around to it eventually. Mr. GP is…

Had the same reaction to “detach from your mother” in re: letter 2. Wait, what? 1) LW wasn’t asking for advice on that at all and 2) this doesn’t sound like a “put space between you and your mom” issue AT ALL. So the mom sends her reminders, a LOT of moms do that. And I don’t think the mom is so fucking off base that…

YUP. This is what people don’t tell you when you’re trying to decide whether to marry someone (at least, no one told me). You need to consider what you’ll need in a partner over the course of your whole life and it’s pretty likely that your sexual needs are going to change. Age is a factor, as are kids, a busy job,…

Yeah, it doesn’t even sound like what she wants is that complicated. She can train him to go to PoundTown, but it sounds like he doesn’t have much of a sex drive. Maybe she can buy him some toys for him to use on her if he can’t get it up.

I thought of Savage Love, too. Sexual incompatibility is an important thing to consider, and often is a deal breaker. What I wonder is, when he does try, does he do a good job? Or, was it more like she appreciated the effort and hoped it would go somewhere?

Much better advice. Some dudes don’t want to be the dominant partner. I have knowledge of this issue in one of my nieces: her beau didn’t want to spank her. In the end, HE was the one who ended the relationship because the one time he spanked her hard enough it left a mark and that freaked him out and he told her he…

Can i be not a fan of suggesting she can get another partner without his consent? That shit happened to me after 4 years and my polyamorous friends were like “that’s not cool. People who cheat with the excuse of being polyamorous just give us a bad name.” If you’re dead set on that and it’s been discussed just end the…

That, or what has changed that you were willing to look past the “bad” sex in the first 1-2 years and stay with the person, that suddenly it is not acceptable. I’m convinced that these letters have to be fake and a troll by Jane Marie because there is no sane way someone’s first advice is “have an affair” rather than…

Yeah, that was kinda gratuitous.

Check your moral compass and consider your options:

Re: Letter 1